sound of your heart

25

Beyoncé

Shawn and I walked back inside my apartment hand in hand after sitting out on the balcony for a good half hour, where we were surrounded by a peaceful silence. His presence had instantly calmed me, so I wasn't as distraught and anxious as I had been thirty minutes ago, but I was still upset. My heart was completely shattered from my mama's harsh words. I was still in disbelief that she actually had the nerve to say those things to me, even though I knew they weren't true. It still hurt regardless.

I just didn't understand.

"Solo?" I said surprised when we stepped into the living room. I thought she left with my parents, I had no idea she and Julez were still here. I wouldn't have stayed outside so long had I known that. "I thought you left."

I let go of Shawn's hand as Solange stood up and walked over to us. "Nah, I wasn't about to go anywhere with mama. I was really ready to fight fight after daddy told me what she said." Solo told me while grabbing my hand. "That's fucked up Bey. I don't know how the hell her mind is so twisted, or why she thought any of that shit made sense. I know you're hurting, so I didn't want to leave until I got to talk to you first. I had to make sure you were okay." She said sincerely.

I smiled softly and squeezed her hand. "Thank you, Solo. I'm okay now. Yes I'm hurting, but Shawn is helping me cope with it." I glanced behind me at my baby, who was making faces at Julez from the couch. I bit my lip and felt my dimple pop out. "I love him so much Solo. He means everything to me." I said softly while turning back around to face her. "My heart is broken because mama doesn't see that. I don't understand why she's so reluctant to accept him."

Solange shook her head before pulling me in for a hug. We squeezed each other tightly. "I'm so sorry, Bey." She said quietly. "I don't know why she's acting like this. I'm gonna talk to her when I get back to the hotel tonight."

"You don't have to do that." I mumbled. Solo pulled back and looked me in the eye.

"Oh, fuck that Beyoncé. She was completely out of line and I'm pissed as shit at her. I'm not gonna flat out disrespect her because I'm really not tryna get physical tonight, but I'm gonna have a few words with her. For sure." She said firmly. I sighed and shook my head, knowing there was no changing her mind.

"Okay." I reluctantly agreed. Solange gently squeezed my arm before stepping back.

"I'm about to head out then." She announced while glancing at Julez. Him and Shawn were playing a game of peek-a-boo and my heart nearly melted. I loved them both so much, I couldn't take it. "Y'all wanna keep him tonight?"

I glanced back at my sister. "You'd be okay with that?" I questioned. She did only meet Shawn a few hours ago, after all. I didn't know how comfortable she'd be with leaving Julez here.

Solo nodded. "Yeah, I trust you Bey. I trust your judgement." She said. We both looked over at Julez and Shawn and smiled. "They seem like they'll get along fine. Plus, I think y'all could use a distraction." She said sympathetically. I nodded my head in agreement.

"Okay." I said softly. "Let me talk it over with Shawn real quick. Did you bring his diaper bag?"

Solo nodded and pointed over to the dining room table, where it was sitting on top. "It has like two or three different outfits in there, so you have something for tonight and tomorrow."

"Okay." I nodded and glanced at Shawn. "I'll be right back."

I walked over to the couch and lowered myself onto Shawn's lap. He briefly looked away from Julez to look at me and kiss my cheek. "Hey baby." He said while rubbing my thighs. I gently grabbed his face and kissed him again.