Forced marriage

Part 22- Forgiveness

Jasmin's POV:

I walked to the delivery wing and went to room 220. I knocked on the door and opened it to find an exhausted wife and husband sleeping in each other's arms. The baby wasn't there. He's still under supervision, as all newborns. I carefully went out of the room and closed the door making sure I don't make a sound.

I exited the delivery hallway and headed to my office. I gathered my stuff and tidied up my desk before leaving. As I made my way towards the hospital door, I had a feeling that Hamza might be there. I kept checking for him but he was nowhere to be found.

When I didn't see him I kind of felt disappointed. But, I cannot afford allowing my feelings for him resurface and put myself in trouble again. I have been way too hurt because of him. I cannot go through it again. I cannot trust him with my heart again. I kept going until I found a taxi and headed home. I was going to my parents' house first to grab all my stuff and then go back to my apartment and move on with my life as if nothing ever happened.

I reached my parents' house I unlocked the door with my keys and got in. but something smells different. Not that I have any super 'sniffing ' abilities or anything. I mean I wish, but I don't. Back to the point, I smell Hamza's perfume. I can feel my heart racing and my face paling. What does he want? Ughh.

Mom saw the door open and came towards me. She gave my an I-am-sorry look and said, " Baby, he's here to see you. I tried to stop him but he insisted on talking to you. Your dad is about to chop his head off. So, go in and talk to him so he can leave before your dad looses it."

I sighed and nodded.

" You don't have to forgive him, but remember that everybody makes mistakes." Mom said holding my arms.

I, again, nodded and started making my way towards the living room. My legs were shaking and my heart was beating so fast that they could probably hear it from the room. Before I could reach the living room's door, the memory started playing in my mind and I had to stop and take a deep breath to stop the tears from falling. When I reached the door Hamza stopped looking at the ground and stood up, while dad never removed his gaze from Hamza. If looks could kill Hamza would be dead and buried by now. Hamza made an attempt at coming towards me but Dad stopped him.

" It's okay, dad, I'll talk to him," I tried to calm my dad, but it didn't seem to be working.

" Are you sure?" dad asked and I nodded. He, then, left the room.

" What do you want?" I said as soon as dad was out of sight. I looked at him straight in the eye. I could tell that he realized his mistake by the look in his eyes. It's like he hasn't slept in ages.

" Jasmin, I...I made a mistake! And I am so sorry. Please forgive me, I can't live without you!" tears were forming in his beautiful eyes," I know I hurt you so much and I hate myself for it. But, please I am begging you not to divorce me. I CANNOT live without you, I cannot!" his eyes said that he meant every word he said but I just couldn't put myself in danger again.

" Hamza sign the papers and let's end this. You don't trust me and now neither do I. this marriage will not work without trust." I said as calmly as I could. But he wasn't having any of it.

He shook his head and kneeled down on his knees. He held my hands and quickly removed them as if his touch burnt. I saw the hurt in his eyes and immediately regretted it.

" I will never sign those papers. I know I hurt you and I regret it way more than you can ever expect. Just... Just please don't give up on us! Please!" he whispered the last part. I looked him unable to decide on what to do or say. When he realized that I was battling myself he continued," I will do WHATEVER it takes to make you forgive me. Just tell me how I can earn your trust again and I will do it. I promise! Just please don't break up with me. I love you!" I looked at him knowing that he'll end up hurting me once again. I knew I had to protect myself from him. He lost the trust I gave him and I am not ready to start trusting him again. The words he told me that day rushed into my ears and I felt furious again.

" Why? Aren't I a whore to you? Wasn't I looking for guys to pay me for sex? Isn't that what you believed? Tell me Hamza, why are you telling me all this? What exactly do you want? My forgiveness or my body?" I said completely blinded by my anger. If he thought I would go back to him with a few words he is damn wrong!

Hamza looked like he was about to cry and so was I. He stood up and looked at me with regret and disbelieve in his eyes. He shook his head and looked into my eyes. His eyes were looking into me attempting to enter my soul.

" Jasmin, Love, I did NOT mean those things. I was angry and I didn't know what I was saying. I didn't know what or who I should believe. You're not a whore you're the sweetest angel anyone will ever meet. I shouldn't have doubted you. That was my biggest mistake. And I regret it more than anything. Please give me another chance. I promise you I will not blow it this time!" he said and waited for my answer.

" Please leave my house!" I said not able to take this anymore.

He sighed and looked at the ground trying to decide on what he'll do next.

" Okay, I'll leave now, but I will not stop until you forgive me. I will try my hardest and I will not stop until you forgive me or at least give me a chance to prove my love to you!" he said and leaned in to kiss my forehead but I pushed him off s soon as his lips came in contact with my skin. It took all my power not to lean into his touch and forget about everything.

He gave me a hurtful look and left. I went straight to my room before mom or dad could question me about anything.

Feeling absolutely exhausted and sad, I went to my bathroom and turned on the shower tap. I filled the bathtub and put my favorite bath bomb in the water and slipped out of my clothes.

The warm water made my tears roll freely and soothed my body. After feeling relaxed, I dried myself and wore my clothes. I decided to stay here today because I had no energy to do anything. I got my laptop and put on my favorite movie, the notebook.

Half way through the movie, my phone buzzed. A message from Hamza.

' I am sorry!

Good night, love! '

I turned off my phone and laptop and went to sleep wanting his message to be the last thing I see before I dive in deep sleep.

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