thebeatles@gmail.com

Help!

To: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
From: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
Subject: Help!
Okay, so I just got a letter from George and he's on a lengthy rant about my liking rap. I don't know why he didn't just send me an email, and he's kind of harsh. Can you tell me the meaning of it?

To: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
From: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
Re Subject: Help!
Dear, maccaisbacca,
You shouldn't be bothered by your friend "George" sending you letters bashing you for liking a type of music. Just be like a duck and let it roll off. Perhaps you should have a face-to-face conversation with him about this instead of hiding behind ink and parchment. I hope you two get this settled.
Sincerely, John Lennon

To: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
From: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
Re Subject: Help!
John, I was being serious. -_-

To: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
From: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
Re Subject: Help!
I was being serious too, Paul! That is some good advice. I'm also thinking of starting a newspaper column called, "Dear John." Did you like my approach?

To: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
From: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
Re Subject: Help!
I'm not going all the way to George's house to talk to him about something silly. And the duck part was kind of overkill. I didn't take it seriously when you said that. Your advice methods need work.

To: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
From: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
Re Subject: Help!
Noted. Send me a snippet of his letter so I can see how bad it is.

To: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
From: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
Re Subject: Help!
Okay. *clears throat* "Really, Paul, really? Who do you think you are, anyway? Some teenybopper who wears his pants all the down to his ankles with his boxer shorts hanging out? Rap is computerized and doesn't involve any talent whatsoever. It isn't wordplay. It isn't an art. It is pure rubbish." That was the first paragraph of a three page rant.

To: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
From: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
Re Subject: Help!
Uh, wow. Hold on a second, Paul, I need to find the perfect emoji for this.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

To: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
From: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
Re Subject: Help!
You just created a virtual wildfire, John.

To: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
From: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
Re Subject: Help!
I know, and I'm proud of it. Paul, just let it go. Be a duck!

To: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
From: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
Re Subject: Help!
Okay. I'm going to go listen to "Let it Be."

To: richiesnare@gmail.com
From: sammichesforever@gmail.com
Subject: No Reply
Ringo, I sent Paul a three-page long rant about his liking rap music and he hasn't replied. I was expecting a complete blowup, but he hasn't said anything.

To: sammichesforever@gmail.com
From: richiesnare@gmail.com
Re Subject: No Reply
Why are you disappointed he didn't say anything? Did you want him to blow up?

To: richiesnare@gmail.com
From: sammichesforever@gmail.com
Re Subject: No Reply
Yes, yes I did, but he didn't say anything. Now what am I going to do for entertainment?

To: sammichesforever@gmail.com
From: richiesnare@gmail.com
Re Subject: No Reply
Watch FoodNetwork?

To: richiesnare@gmail.com
From: sammichesforever@gmail.com
Re Subject: No Reply
Good enough.

This is kind of a lazy effort, but here it is! Sorry if it's crummy.