thebeatles@gmail.com

You Bloody Swine!!!

To: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
From: sammichesforever@gmail.com
Subject: You Bloody Swine!!!
JOHN, HOW DID YOU FIGURE OUT I SMELLED?!?

To: sammichesforever@gmail.com
From: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
Re Subject: You Bloody Swine!!!
A little birdie told me.

To: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
From: sammichesforever@gmail.com
Re Subject: You Bloody Swine!!!
You asked Ringo, didn't you?

To: sammichesforever@gmail.com
From: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
Re Subject: You Bloody Swine!!!
Yes, and he was most helpful. I was able to portray you perfectly in my book, I Dig Love. You should check it out sometime.

To: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
From: sammichesforever@gmail.com
Re Subject: You Bloody Swine!!!
I already saw it, and now you've embarrassed me in front of the entire Internet!!!

To: sammichesforever@gmail.com
From: walrusgumboot@gmail.com
Re Subject: You Bloody Swine!!!
George, why are you so worked up? The George in my book isn't actually you. And you shouldn't be mad at me; you should be mad at Ringo. He's the one that told me that you dumped sandalwood oil over your head.

To: richiesnare@gmail.com
From: sammichesforever@gmail.com
Subject: How Could You?
You are a huge traitor, Richard.

To: sammichesforever@gmail.com
From: richiesnare@gmail.com
Re Subject: How Could You?
What did I do?

To: richiesnare@gmail.com
From: sammichesforever@gmail.com
Re Subject: How Could You?
You told John how I smelled! Who does that? You had to have known he was just going to write a story about it, and he did and believe me, it's bad.

To: sammichesforever@gmail.com
From: richiesnare@gmail.com
Re Subject: How Could You?
Oh, so that's why he wanted to know. Hang on a second and let me read it.

To: sammichesforever@gmail.com
From: richiesnare@gmail.com
Re Subject: How Could You?
Okay, yeah, that was bad. He didn't have to get that graphic, you know. I mean, I would have been just fine without the extra details.

To: richiesnare@gmail.com
From: sammichesforever@gmail.com
Re Subject: How Could You?
You know what we have to do to get him back now, right?

To: sammichesforever@gmail.com
From: richiesnare@gmail.com
Re Subject: How Could You?
Egg his house?

To: richiesnare@gmail.com
From: sammichesforever@gmail.com
Re Subject: How Could You?
No, Ringo, we're going to write a fanfiction story about him and Paul, but first we need to ask Paul a question.

To: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
From: richiesnare@gmail.com
Subject: Just Curious
Hey, Paul, I am just curious. How would you describe John's smell?

To: richiesnare@gmail.com
From: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
Re Subject: Just Curious
Um, well, he told me once he didn't wear cologne, really, so he just kind of smelled like . . . John.

To: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
From: richiesnare@gmail.com
Re Subject: Just Curious
How would you describe this "John" fragrance?

To: richiesnare@gmail.com
From: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
Re Subject: Just Curious
Clean? I don't know. Why do you even want to know?

To: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
From: richiesnare@gmail.com
Re Subject: Just Curious
Didn't you read the subject title? I was just curious. Geez, why are you interrogating me?

To: richiesnare@gmail.com
From: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
Re Subject: Just Curious
All I wanted to know was why you were asking. You don't need to get so defensive, Ringo. Loosen up, man.

To: maccaisbacca@gmail.com
From: richiesnare@gmail.com
Re Subject: Just Curious
Sorry. Well, uh, thanks, I guess.

To: sammichesforever@gmail.com
From: richiesnare@gmail.com
Subject: I Got Nuttin'
He wouldn't tell me anything other than John smelled clean. I know you were hoping for a brand of cologne, but Paul is a hard nut to crack.

To: richiesnare@gmail.com
From: sammichesforever@gmail.com
Re Subject: I Got Nuttin'
Hmm. Looks like we're going to have to make something up. Ringo, start brainstorming. This book isn't going to write itself!