Twenty Øne Reasons to Live

Chapter Thirty-Two

My Point of View 

I awoke with an odd sensation, but I couldn't place it. Everything seemed right to me, but- wait, that's just it. Everything seemed right. My stomach didn't hurt. My joints didn't ache. Maybe I was better! 

Very slowly I sat up, careful not to upset my stomach if it wasn't better and I had just found an exceptional position to lay in, and for a moment, no belly snaps overcame me. The room was dark, except for one lamp shining in the corner. I squinted, hoping my eyes would adjust. When they did, I saw why the singular lamp was turned on. 

Josh was crunched up in a seemingly very uncomfortable position in the recliner in the corner, fast asleep. I watched for a brief moment as his chest slowly rose and fell, and I smiled to myself. He seemed so peaceful, and that made me happy. It made me happy for the smallest moment, then the joy was quickly overcome by jealousy. I wish I could sleep like that. But I can't, and I probably will never be able to. 

It now hit me exactly why Josh wasn't in his own bed, sleeping much more comfortably. Me. He was staying out here because he was afraid I'd die in the middle of the night, or vomit until I pass out. He was in that ridiculous position for me. While this made me feel special, it also made me feel a little guilty. He was a busy guy, he had to pound on drums every single night, which took a lot out of him, I'm sure. 

Yet here he was, sleeping on an uncomfortable chair. What a guy. Whenever I get a boyfriend, if he's even half the guy Josh is (or Tyler for that matter), then I'll be the luckiest girl in the world. 

I decided then, to sleep. I gave Josh one last look before I turned over and nestled down into the couch and drifted off soon after. 

Josh's Point of View

I hadn't slept a wink all night. Not since Tyler and I made a long list of the things that we could point out to Kit that she could be thankful for. Us being on the top of the list. I laid in my bed for a long while and just stared at the ceiling, thinking about the amazing girl that just got dropped into our laps a few months ago. She was incredible. But she was broken. But aren't we all? 

She was in there by herself. She could be puking her guts out for all I knew. What kind of protector was I if I wasn't with her when she's so sick? I sat straight up, not bothering to put on a shirt. I grabbed my blanket and pillow and headed into the living room area. I threw the sleep stuff into the recliner in the corner. I very slowly turned the lamp on the dimmest setting and tip-toed over to her still body. 

Careful not to wake her, I knelt down and lightly brushed the hair out of her eyes, and touched her forehead. I didn't know if it was hot or not. I wasn't a woman, I don't have that freaky talent of knowing the exact temperature of their child by touching or kissing their head. She could be burning up and I wouldn't know the better of it. 

Suddenly very panicked, I ran into my room and snatched my phone off its charger. I dialed quickly with shaking hands. 

Please pick up. Please. 

"Josh? Are you okay honey??" her groggy voice answered after the fifth or sixth ring. 

Relief washed over me like a wave. "Mama, hi. Yes I'm okay, but Kit has a fever and I need to know how you do it." Although I was relieved, I still stumbled over my words. 

"Sweetheart, calm down, do what?" 

"You know when I used to get sick you'd kiss my head to check for a fever? How did you know? I don't feel anything!"

"Joshua Dun, you need to calm down first! Do you think she needs to go to the hospital?"

"Mama, I don't know! That's why I'm calling you!"  I'll admit that I hadn't quite calmed down yet, so I doubted I would get an answer. 

"Okay, okay. Well, did you touch her head?" 

"Yes, twice, I can't tell." 

"Did you touch her head with the back or front of your hand?" 

"The back." 

"Okay, good. And you couldn't tell? She didn't feel warm?"

I touched Kit's head gently, and thought I felt a little warmth. But then again, that could just be the hot panic racing through my body. 

"I- I don't know. Maybe a little." 

"...And she's breathing, right?" 

"MOM!"  I yelled, but when Kirsten didn't stir, I watched her chest intensely for a moment. It rose and then fell. Thank God. 

"What?? It's a legitimate question baby!"

"You scared me half to death!!" 

"I'm sorry. Okay honey, if you can't tell by your hand, can you kiss her forehead?" 

I looked at sweet Kid for a moment before answering, slightly shaking my head, "Wouldn't that make me really really perverted?" 

"You're checking to make sure she's not in danger. No, Josh." 

"Okay, I'll try." 

I set the phone down on the coffee table and knelt down. Suddenly I felt as if I were proposing to Kirsten, which freaked me out since I already felt like a big creep for this, so I adjusted onto two knees instead. I used one hand to brush the hair out of her face and I gently kissed her forehead. It felt warm, then cool. I didn't know if that was good or not. I didn't feel creepy anymore, honestly, I just felt like I was kissing my little sister. 

I picked my phone back up and pressed it to my ear. "Mama, you still there?" 

"Yes sweetie, I'm still here." 

"Okay. So she felt warm then cool." 

"That's a good sign, sweetie. She's probably coming out of it now. I don't think you have anything to worry about." 

"Okay Mama, thank you. I love you." 

"I love you too baby, goodnight." 

"Night." 

I was able to settle down into the recliner and feel safe now. Still, I kept the light on because I wanted to keep an eye on her at all times if possible. 

Eventually, I drifted off to sleep. 

HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!!! Thank you so much if you stuck around all this time, eager to read this new chapter. I already have the next one planned out as well, so that will be coming soon. Happy Wednesday, Clique! Stay Alive, Frens. ||-//