Twenty Øne Reasons to Live

Chapter Thirteen

Josh's Point of View

I groaned, and opened my eyes. Tyler was across from me on the couch, and he watched as I sat up slowly.

"Hey Tyler, we should play Lovely and Friend Please tonight..." I muttered. We played a show in two hours.

"What?" he replied, and his face asked me if I was crazy. Maybe I was...

"Lovely?" he repeated.

"Yeah because she-she might be here and she needs to know-"

"She needs to know she's lovely," Tyler finished for me. I was barely awake and I think he could tell that. "She'll figure it out," he told me.

"But how?" I keep having nightmares that she's dead. That I find her lying in a hospital bend mangled up from something or someone, and that she slips away and I can't save her. That's the worst feeling in the entire world and I just want that to end.

"I dunno...I just believe that is all."

My phone buzzed on my chest and it scared me at first. I limply picked it up, rubbing my eyes and when I saw who it was from I about had a heart attack. Was I still sleeping?? "Tyler- Tyler look!" I shoved my blue iPhone his way and he grabbed it, looking alarmed. "Does that say what I think it says?!"

He looked up with a spark of disbelief in his eyes. "It's from Kirsten."

My Point of View

I sat on the end of my bed, trying to stop trembling in anticipation. Maybe Josh wouldn't answer me. Maybe I lost him completely. I didn't want to text Tyler because he's most likely still mad at me for hurting Josh.

That idea seemed suddenly insane to me. I hurt Josh. Me. Two months ago I went to that show against my will and met the guys. And look what's already happened. Why me? Why did they attach to me like this? Now it dawned on me that it was because they saw who I was. Who I really was. I don't know how but somehow they saw how screwed up I am, and they won't let me fall away.

Taking another quick glance at my phone, the text went unanswered and it tortured my stomach. Well, I guess that's it. He's done with me. I deserve that. Deciding I wouldn't let it bother me I stood up to leave my room.

Bz!

I froze with my hand on the doorknob, and I think my stomach and heart switched places in that moment. Was that a text or am I out of my mind? Clenching my teeth, preparing myself to be let down, I picked up my phone.

Josh?
Read 6:11 p.m

I thought you blocked my number...
Sent 6:15 p.m

No, I didn't.
Read 6:16 p.m

You okay, Kid??
Sent 6:16 p.m

I thought heavily about my answer. I could lie, and get to the important part.

sure, i guess?
Read 6:18 p.m

I don't get it, why are you doing this?
Sent 6:19 p.m

I mean don't get me wrong I'm thrilled you texted, I was worried sick but I'm just a little confused.
Sent 6:19 p.m

I don't know. I just don't want to die.
Read 6:23 p.m

I didn't know where that outburst came from. That's the opposite of how I feel 99% of the time, but I just blurted that out.

Josh's Point of View

Kit has no idea how much that last text told me. It was only nine words long but it may as well be a 5,000 page novel to me. Tyler was looking over my shoulder, smiling with me as she answered fairly quickly.

"She's scared," Tyler said, voice low.

It's okay. You'll be okay. Do you need help?
Read 6:26 p.m

I don't know. Josh I'm sorry.
Sent 6:26 p.m

I am too. I'm so sorry. Everything I said still stands, Kid. You know that. We even?
Read 6:27 p.m

Yeah...............................

Josh, you need to understand that trusting is so hard for me. There will definitely be times where I'll act like I can't stand you or trust you but that isn't me. Every friend I've ever had just gets sick of me because of that. Before I go any farther I need to know you aren't going to leave like the rest.
Sent 6:31 p.m

I won't. I promise.
Read 6:32 p.m

I don't know if I can trust that.
Sent 6:34

I looked at Tyler, and he exhaled. I guess I was basically asking him what to do next. Things seemed to change so quickly, and I didn't want to lose her just like that.

Are you in the area soon?
Sent 6:36 p.m

Actually in two days we'll be three/four hours away from your house.
Read 6:37 p.m

I looked at Tyler and he smiled at me.

Okay.
Sent 6:38 p.m

Will you be there?
Read 6:39 p.m

UPDATE! As always let me know what you thought and VERY IMPORTANT: I entered this book in the Golden Pen Awards 2017 so wish me luck and vote please! I love you all and sorry this is so short. I'll try and update a longer one tomorrow!

Stay Alive Always my frens |-/