Twenty Øne Reasons to Live

Chapter Seventeen

"I'm gonna kill you!" Josh yelled, and I tried to take his arm, but dang is he strong. So he continued walking at a (very) brisk pace towards Rider, who, by the way, wasn't even flinching. I'm pretty sure that officially labels him an idiot. 

Tyler raced over, shouting, "Whoa! Josh! What the heck are you doing, man?" 

He jabbed his finger at Rider and said, "That's the kid, Tyler!" 

Something must've snapped, because Tyler let go of Josh's shirtsleeve and started down the hall way. "You are dead, punk! Dead!" 

"Guys! Stop it!" I jumped in front of them now, attempting to stop this if I could- but by the looks of it,  I don't think I have much of a chance. 

"That bruise on your cheek, did he do that to you?" Josh demanded. 

For a moment I looked past the determined duo here, and saw Sarah and Jenna peaking their heads out of the room, clearly trying to stay out of this, and I don't blame them. "No, I swear, he-" 

"Yeah. I did it. And I'll do it again. And again and again and again- it doesn't end!" Rider spoke up from behind me, ending in a bitter scream. I looked at him, stunned. He just committed suicide by saying that. 

Immediately, Josh tried to push past me, and I put my hand on his chest, trying to stop him. Good Lord, it was rock hard. He was stronger than I thought. He could plow me over easily right now if he wanted to. 

"Josh, come with me." I grabbed his wrist, and yanked with all my body weight, and he didn't even budge. Well, that was effective... "Please." 

He huffed, then started to walk with me. There was an exit just down the hall. I told Tyler if he touches Rider while I'm gone I'll sick Josh on him the second we return. I pushed open the exit, and Josh pulled his arm away. "What is he doing here?" 

"Josh, I need you to listen to me." 

"No! He is hurting you and I can't just-" 

"JOSH!" I demanded, and he stopped for a moment. "Are you my friend or aren't you?"

He looked down, ashamed. "I'm your friend." 

"Okay. Now there are a lot of things you don't know about Rider. His life sucks, okay? There is a reason people are the way they are." I wouldn't tell Josh any of the really secretive stuff but I'd have to tell him some of it. 

"That doesn't justify what he's done to you." 

"No, you're right. It doesn't." I exhaled. "You know how when a kid's parents are alcoholics, the kid tends to end up drinking and doing exactly what the parents did? It doesn't make sense, because you would think any normal person would end up running from how they grew up. Rider's father abused him, Josh. Since he was a baby, up until he was around twelve and his dad......." I swallowed. "Well, his dad overdosed. He abandoned Rider and his mother when he was eight, but came back to 'visit'. Rider was just a punching bag to him, but when he was twelve his dad died of an OD. So Rider grew up in an unstable home because his Mom tried dating his father most of his life, he lacked any stability at all." 

"I was all he had, Josh. He was always at my house, and we'd sit in my closet while he told me about the horrors that went on behind closed doors." 

I could tell Josh was fighting emotion, because he didn't want to feel sorry for Rider. And I get that. Sometimes I don't, either. Actually most of the time I can't bring myself to feel sorry for him, but he's the only one who knows all my secrets. He knows every skeleton in my closet by name. 

I laid my hand on his shoulder, but he avoided my eyes. "So please just give him a break. Just tonight." 

In all honestly, I wasn't as concerned with Josh beating him up, I was more concerned with Rider taking it out on me in the next few weeks in an unreal way. 

Josh sucked his lips in before responding. "Okay. Just tonight, though. Next time he touches you I'm messing that kid up." 

I smiled a little. "Oh, and Josh?" 

"Hmmm?" 

I quickly jumped up, so I didn't have enough time to change my mind. I hugged him, and whispered a quick thank you. That was supposed to happen earlier, but that will teach me to look before I pounce on people and thank them while crying... 

He let go, and asked what that was for. 

"You know what it was for." I quickly looked back at the door, where we could see Sarah through the little square window. 

He didn't confirm or deny anything, but I knew what happened. 

We went back inside, and I didn't see Rider. So either Tyler murdered him and already hid the body, or he bailed. I asked Sarah where he went, and she told me he walked off saying how he doesn't need this crap- only he didn't say 'crap'. 

How Rider-like that is. Things get tense so he just leaves. Whatever, he could pay thousands of dollars for a taxi, it's not like I care. I took him because he pleaded with me, not because I wanted him to come. 

XxxxX

Tyler invited us back into the green room, and we sat and talked and joked around for a while, which was fun. We were telling funny childhood stories when chills erupted at the base of my skull. 

These people aren't your friends. 

They're using you. 

Better run while you still can. 

You don't belong here. 

Those scars, that's who you really are. 

You can't run from that, Kirsten. 

You deserve what Rider does to you. 

I tensed up, the thoughts popping up from no where. That's how it usually went. No warning. Nothing to even ensue the thoughts; they just- happen. I can be completely fine one minute and the next I'm spiraling down into the deepest depths of depression.  

"Hey, you okay?" I heard Tyler ask me, and I jerked up. 

Without even thinking, I forced a smile and nodded. Honestly, 'are you okay?' was a question I've grown accustomed to lying about. This time I would've just answered 'yeah sorry weird thoughts, but I'm good.' But I didn't even think to say that. I just lied as a natural reply. 

Rider doesn't have to lie when he doesn't feel okay because no one expects anything from him anymore, everyone expects the very least from him. That has to be nice. Now people just assume he's going to do the wrong thi- 

NO! 

I jumped up, muttering, "No, no, no, no, no, no." 

"Where are you going what's wrong??" Josh asked me, quick to follow. 

"Nothing, I'll be right back- augh! Idiot!" I yelled in frustration as I ran down the hallway, and I heard feet thumping after me. 

"Well, I'm coming with you!" Josh hollered, picking up his pace. 

I busted outside and ran into the cold night, chills running up and down my body. It was freezing. 

I jerked to a stop, out of breath and my chest contracted now that I saw it.  

Yep, that's what I thought. 

UPDATE!!! And I dedicated this chapter to   JoshDunsFakeWife because it is their birthday today, so happy birthday! And today, since it's your bday, I not only dedicated this chapter to you, and updated - I will also let you believe that you are actually Josh Dun's Fake Wife, and that he ISN'T mine (even though he is lol) Have a great day, and thank you for your support!! 

As always comment, vote, and Stay Alive, Frens! |-/