Twenty Øne Reasons to Live

Chapter Ten

My stomach hurt, but still there was an odd sense of security. I watched as his laugh lines wrinkled around his mouth, and this made my inside smile. I would've maybe smiled, but my mouth just would not cooperate.

He looked over to me, and I could tell he didn't care about my scars. He didn't care about my pain. I was so lucky to be with him. I was so lucky to have somebody like him. I said something, and my words echoed in my mind, and his head cocked back and his laugh filled the area. I laughed in response to it, and all was well.

Then the screams came. The tires screeching. The impact.

I sat up, screaming. A few moments passed where my panicked, ragged breath filled the room. I relaxed back into my pillow and exhaled hard. I moaned, remembering everything that happened last night was real. All of it. Everything after I got home, too. I rubbed the burn on my neck, and then sat up.

My phone buzzed again. I glared at it. He really needs a restraining order. I faintly remember that really early this morning I finally broke down and told him to go away. Then fell back into my disturbing dreams...

I walked into the shower, on autopilot. I turned the water on, and cringed. The newest additions on my arms didn't welcome the hot water. Both arms stung, but I did my best to ignore it. It hurt like heck, sure- but I had learned to power through the pain. The pain wasn't even the worst part, actually. The guilt that gnawed at my stomach was. It happened every time I did it again. I felt so filthy each time, yet I keep going back like a dog to their own vomit.

Horribly late for school, I skipped breakfast (which I usually do). I ran to the bus which was pulling away, so I had to make do and run. So of course, I made it to school soaked in sweat. Perfect.

I was walking quickly to my class the hallways empty proving how late I was when a voice stopped me. I was in no mood for human contact. Everything with Josh and Tyler and last night, and my phone was still going off in my back pocket, I was grumpier than I had been in a long time. I wasn't just grumpy....I was enraged.

"Hey baby, where you going?" I think you all know who that is.

Stopping dead cold in the hallway, I said, "Rider. You have five seconds to turn back around."

"What if I don't want to? Look, it's cute and all, your boyfriend paying you off, but I still got what you need, remember?"

I knew what he was talking about and I had almost forgotten about it. Shaking my head in shame, I heard his footsteps draw nearer. Before I knew what happened, I was pinned against a locker.

"Let me go," I breathed through clenched teeth.

"No." He went to kiss my jaw, and that's when I twisted his arm, kicked him behind the knees (and a few other places) then threw him over my shoulder. Rider landed on the floor with a thud. I sat on him, holding his arms to the floor, and my knees dug into his thighs.

He was breathing like a gorilla now. This satisfied me, for some odd reason. Rider looked at me wide-eyed. Rage shoved me to speak. "Jui-Jitsu, Taekwondo, Aikido, three different types of Karate, Judo, and Krav Maga." I was just inches from his face now, and I spoke in a hoarse whisper. "Don't touch me again."

I jerked off of him, and resumed my walk to class as if nothing had happened. Not five full seconds later, I heard him charge me from behind. I stepped to one side, keeping one foot out out so he'd trip on it, then when he was falling (now in front of me) I grabbed his arms putting him into a full nelson and I jammed my thumb on the pressure point behind his earlobe. He passed out in about five-six seconds.