Twenty Øne Reasons to Live

Chapter Twenty-Six

Josh's Point of View

I sat up, panting. It took me a few moments to gather myself again, to try and separate dreams from reality. It was that nightmare.... the one that had been haunting my sleep every night until Kit came back. It was back.

I breathed heavy, quick breaths and got up, careful not of wake Tyler in the bed a few feet from my own, and then crept out the door, into the main room. I just needed a drink, and needed to calm down before this turns into a panic attack.

The light over the stove was on, for such occasions as this one. Stumbling to the counter, I turned on the faucet and grabbed a glass. The water tasted like it was straight from a hose... I coughed, and then ran my hands through my hair. This is when I realized I was sweating.

A flash of the dream erupted in my mind when I blinked. I jumped, and then said, "Oh God, please, I don't know what it means. I don't-"

"Don't know what what means?" a small voice said and I spun around to see Kit sitting on the couch, hugging her knees to her chest. It looked like she was, or had been crying.

"Hey," I said, voice changing. My need to comfort took over my own anxieties and that showed. "Why are you up?" I stopped a few steps in front of the couch.

"I could ask the same to you..." With meek grin, her fragile fingers tucked a chunk of hair behind her left ear.

"Just thirsty."

"You had a nightmare didn't you?"

I blinked, seeing no use in lying. "Yeah I did. How'd you know." She made no reply, and just looked down. "...Because that's the same reason why you are."

She nodded as I sat down next to her. "What was yours about?"

I looked at her and frowned. Even now, I couldn't stop my mind from contorting her to that mangled mess laying in a bed right before her line goes flat. And I could hear my own voice in the back of my head yelling and pleading with her not to let go. To hold on.

I could never tell her. Never. "Oh, just weird stuff. What about you?" 

The look on her face told me that she was in deep thought- pained, even. If so, I knew the feeling. 

"What are you guys doing up??" We both looked to see Tyler in the doorway and he looked pale. Sick. 

"Are you okay?" Kirsten asked, wide-eyed. 

"Uh, yeah. Yeah I think...I think so." 

I knew that he wasn't. I knew that face. That look in his eyes. I've seen it all before. He walked to the sink in the kitchen area, and leaned on it, back turned to us, just staring at the light. 

"Are you getting that feeling?" 

"Yeah......" 

Silence engulfed the room, and the sound of our labored, frightened breaths filled it. Out of no where I heard a small gasp, and Kit grabbed onto my forearm, but didn't even look my way. 

I studied her face, but stayed quiet.

"I'm sorry.......I..." 

"It's alright. I think we're all a little low on sleep, and this is the product of that." 

Tyler and Kit nodded, and I decided I would try and sleep. Tomorrow night we played a show, then we'd sleep here, but then the next night we'd have to drive - all night long. Ha, there's tour life for ya! 

I finished off my glass of hose water, and said,"Welp, I think I'll head to bed. Goodnight -again- guys." 

"Night," they echoed each other.