31 Days with Ross

Day 24

Day 24 

Grace's POV

My eyes opened wide. I heard faint drops of water against my windows. It was raining hard. The alarm that I set sounded and I didn't even bother to turn it off. The sound of the alarm continued to make my head throb in pain since I wasn't fully recovered from my whole day of crying yesterday. I continued to lie in bed with thoughts of how to face Ross now. Many things were running in my mind. I didn't know where to begin when we started discussing about our future if ever there was any.

Everything was so blurry. I couldn't even think straight. First, there was the issue that Andrea and Ross had a past which leads to the second point - they had a baby... wait, they HAVE a baby. Where was I going to place myself in the whole thing? I didn't want Ross to be with Andrea but they had to be together for the sake of their baby. 

I turned to my side facing the window now splattered with drops of rain. I sighed and once again my heart begins to swell out of the pain that I was feeling. I thought that everything would be okay now. But it wasn’t. Thinking that everything is going to be fine wasn’t making things easy. I couldn’t blame anyone but myself for falling so freaking hard for this guy. I couldn’t even imagine life without him that time but now, I had to force myself to see that view since it was indeed a great possibility for us to part ways for the baby’s sake.

I eased out of bed and wiped the tears from my face. I had to be strong. I guess this time, I badly needed Kat’s advice. I needed to hear her comforting words and her thoughts about our situation. But since she wasn’t here, I had to try to use the weak mind that I owned. God! Why did it have to be this hard?

Coming into the kitchen, I saw a man who was facing the view from the window. He was staring blankly at the skyscrapers that towered the city streets of Manhattan. I can feel his desperation to explain things and how we both can go about them. I felt his regret – maybe because he didn’t tell me about everything sooner. I felt his tension and despite the situation that we were in, I felt his love for me. He was struggling now. I knew that he couldn’t express everything the way that I wanted him to. I knew that would be too much to ask.

He had a weary expression in his eyes that were already deep and dark as they didn’t get any sleep the previous night. I wanted to touch his shoulders that were tense the whole time he was standing. He took a sip from the cup of coffee that he was holding for God knows how long. I stood behind the counter and silently grabbed a cup from the rack beside the sink and made my own cup of coffee. I heard him sobbing. This was too much. I tried to cover my mouth from making a sound. I held my voice inside and wiped the tears from my cheeks hastily.

I guess I moved to slow. He still caught me wiping my tears away. Our pained gazes met. His eyes were blood-shot red from the silent crying that he was doing a few minutes ago. I couldn’t stop the rest of my tear duct from working; they apparently had a mind of their own and eventually I cried some more.

He moved towards me yet I know he hesitated. I couldn’t bear it anymore.  I desperately wrapped my arms around him and rested my head in his chest. His pain was worse than mine and I think I needed to hear his side of the story this time. He was hurting as much as I was. He kept me in his embrace for quite some time until I calmed myself down. I embraced him with all the love that I had. I took everything that he could give me since I had a feeling that we won’t be having much time together left.