Three Is A Crowd

Chapter 19: Three Is A Crowd

A/N: thank you for voting/nominating me, guys! I can't believe I won, and even if I didn't win, I'd still be the happiest. Thanks for the support 😘

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There are moments in your life, no matter how self-assured or privileged you think you are, when anxiety invades your mind and cowardice breeds in your heart; pumping doubts and fear of rejection through your veins and all over your body, paralyzing you from the tip of your tongue and all the way to your extremities. You're a prisoner of your own mind, and you find ways to avoid facing your fears.

That's why Lauren, after promising Normani and Dinah that she will ask Camila out, has retreated to her safe zone, watching days become nights and nights become days, counting dusks and dawns, prolonging the inevitable, agonizing over every little details, obsessing over the what-ifs and her fear of rejection.

Because that's what this is all about: her fear of rejection.

You would think that someone like Lauren, overconfident and aware of her appeal, wouldn't be this insecure over something as common as asking a girl out (especially when people think that it's what all she does in her spare time). But it is what is. Humans are a great paradox. Even Camila, with all her straight-laced upbringing, could one day be doing something that's the very definition of contradiction. You shouldn't be surprised by that; humans are complex by nature. To box them in one category and expect them to act a certain way for the rest of their lives is just one big fallacy, one that's bound to disappoint.

Lauren, in her entire life, has never been rejected; other than her parents denying her pleas to pursue her own path, or maybe some of her old teachers saying no to her request of at least two bathroom breaks per period because of her made-up urinary incontinence excuse just so she could smoke in deserted hallways or read Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty series (Lauren was shook, there's no other term that will perfectly define her mood then, after only reading the first book. She couldn't even look away, as much as she wanted to throw the book in disgust, it rattled her to her core and blew up the last bit of her innocence. Fifty Shades of Grey can't relate.), she has never been deprived of anything she truly desired.

And that's how she became arrogant and spoiled; she's used to getting her way. She's used to things being laid out in front of her for her own picking. She never had to work too hard for anything, and even when she thinks that someone or something could be a little difficult, she's too indifferent to pursue it, because, in her mind, there will always be plenty of other fishes in the sea. She chooses her prey, she picks the easiest game, and even when she wants some challenges she would still make sure that she'll end up winning. She's too vain to graciously accept the possibility that someone wouldn't like her back, and so, she would retreat at the tiniest hint of rejection. That's how she really rolls, which she covers up effectively with her typical air of disaffected nonchalance, and that's one secret she'll never tell.

With Camila, there's always a hint of uncertainty in the air; that, no matter how much they vibe, or how much Camila gets drawn to Lauren's charm, she can still see a hint of defiance in her deep brown eyes and a rebellious streak, something that equally excites her and scares her. She can sense that as much as Camila goes out of her way to be closer to Lauren, she's still cautious -- and with valid reasons, given Lauren's rather challenging personality.

She knows she has some sort of effect to Camila, but she's not sure if it's strong enough for Camila to ignore her common sense and decide to let Lauren in.