Chapter 42: Dark Side of the Moon

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Lauren's vacation is a welcome break, in more ways than one.

After that deal she's made with Camila, an idiotic (but highly satisfying) one she admits now that she's using her brain, she suddenly finds going back home a little more relieving than staying in that dorm. Somehow, being in that room has made Lauren's thinking a lot hazy -- which she solely blames on Camila's ass. Oh, that ass.

Of course, once she steps foot inside the Jauregui estate, or buzzed in through the huge iron gates by security, she remembers how much she dislikes being here, not because she hates her family (she loves them, even her mother who she likes to smother sometimes), but because the air in this house feels thick with judgment and disappointment and excessive luxury, and it forces her to remember all the times she has been made to feel small. 

Without even bothering to check if anyone's home, she parks her rented Honda (at this point, she doesn't care what she drives as long as it has a/c and the engine doesn't stall), tells Camren, who's in the passenger seat, to just chill for a second and she'll set its tank up later, and Lauren goes straight to the garage to check up on Harley Quinn.

Oh how she misses talking to her, especially when Lauren starts and warms her up, and Harley responds with that soothing purr of her engine. And when she rides her, the vibration between her legs, the wind blowing against her hair, the rumbling sounds of her Harley which is music to her ears -- man, that's an entire conversation inside Lauren's head. Much more enjoyable than what she gets from stupid people.

Of course, Harley doesn't really talk, duh, Lauren isn't that delusional. But it's more symbolic than anything else: the serenity and enlightenment Lauren gets when she's with Camus or Harley or Nala or even Camren (despite them being incapable of human conversations), is because when Lauren is with them she's lost in her own world and it's when she can talk to herself without being impeded by her dark thoughts. Because these are her escape, whether it's riding Harley or Camus, or stroking Nala's fur, or talking to Camren and making her do tricks, and being with them lifts the thick dark fog in her mind, and she can think clearly and be herself and talk to herself as if she's conversing with another person without the complications of being misunderstood or feeling that she's boring the shit out of people.

She reaches the end corner of the spacious garage, the smell of oil and dust and the citrus scent of car wax triggering nice memories within Lauren; some of her moments with her dad, and some when she used to sneak out Harley and race with her old friends.

For the first time since she got back, she smiles.

Lifting Harley's cover, she breathes a sigh of relief when she sees her still in one piece. She makes a mental note to thank her brother for making good on his promise that he'll make sure mom wouldn't throw it away. Running her fingers through the smooth metal, softly gripping the handles, she can already imagine the rush of riding her after a long time. She should take her for a spin now to lighten up her mood before she faces her mother. It would be amazing to just ride something special and familiar to her, especially when she's been missing Camus a whole lot.

Speaking of riding, she wonders if Camila is busy? She knows she's back home, and they're basically in the same area. Lauren could easily pick her up within twenty minutes.

Getting her phone out of her pocket, she sends Camila a text.

Caterpillar Brows: wanna ride me?

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