Three Is A Crowd

Chapter 53: Shameless

AN: I think this is the longest TIAC chapter so far, and I'll appreciate it a lot if you comment or react. Next chapters will be brand new, so some things will also depend on your reactions. Thanks.

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The old her would have never understood how easy it is to eventually stop feeling guilty when one is having fun; how pleasure makes one forget about the guilt, how it becomes easier to justify her actions. How easy it is to succumb to selfish desires at the expense of people she claims to love or respect.

The old her would have been scandalized that she ends up leading double lives -- thinking she could never get full satisfaction from only one. She fears that if she lets go of one, then her world will be too out of balance, that she couldn't ever be complete.

This is what Camila has become these past several months: she's two different people.

So there's one where she's dressed in cute little dresses, crop tops, and sweet smiles, hanging out with her family, with Shawn, eating food cooked especially for her, playing the perfect untainted girl.

Then there's her other persona which only comes out whenever she's with Lauren; someone who gets excited when her clothes get ripped off of her -- those cute dresses flying all over the room faster than she can blink. Someone who would eagerly open her legs and let Lauren do what she wants to do with her. Someone who says what she wants, even demands it sometimes, and makes sure she gets it. The other side of her who gets this indescribable high doing what her moral self would never do.

Finally, the old her would have suffered a stroke once she hears her thoughts now: that she now believes she doesn't need both sides for her to be complete. She could be a fully-realized human being if only she totally embraces one side of her, no looking back.

The talk she had with Dinah is like the final push over the cliff that convinces Camila to just allow herself to fall. Freely. So, what if she plummets to her symbolic death? Is she ready to embrace it all?

Yes, she is. Probably? No, yes, most likely.

Each minute, she unfolds, as if she's playing strip poker with herself, only that she's not stripping away clothes, rather, she's slowly stripping away her hesitations and doubts, her soul bare-naked that only she and Lauren could see.

It's like being reborn, and she knows she'll never be the same. Like, happy birthday, Camila.

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After that kiss in the hallway, interrupted by a random half-drunk Cabello uncle lumbering upstairs in search for the bathroom, Lauren and Camila decide to go back down to let Sinu know they're being good girls, not doing anything out of the ordinary.

But then Mildred keeps on hanging around Lauren's space, not to mention, Normani suddenly making an appearance which throws Camila out of sorts, because, seriously, her presence rattles her.

A quick cordial greeting, and a small gift wrapped elegantly being handed to her, Normani then goes straight to where Dinah is standing and waving excitedly at her.

Camila doesn't know it, of course, but Normani coming to her party is solely due to Dinah basically begging her through thousands of texts and voice messages urging her to help her solve a case. Good thing she has finished her charity dancing lessons earlier than anticipated, and still had the motivation to do one more altruistic deed and be a good friend to Dinah (she doesn't mention that she simply misses her friend).

Camila sees her mother staring at her from across the room, as if daring her to make one wrong move before she ships her to Timbuktu, and she lowers her eyes to focus on her drink before finally deciding to play nice for a bit, and play the good birthday girl. She forces herself to mingle with literally everyone at the party, and just be appreciative of their presence. She allows herself to be distracted, and this time, she at least has genuine fun knowing that Lauren is just somewhere nearby. Every now and then she locks eyes with her, even when they're with other people, as if the need for it is a must, as if it overwhelms her if she isn't reminded of her presence, and when she sees that Lauren is just there also looking back at her, smiling, winking at her, then everything feels normal.