Flight Of Fancy

8.My Father

'Daddy lets go'
'No dear Today daddy can not he is very tired'
'But daddy I want to ride the new swing in the park'
'Okay Okay let's go'
We walk down the street and enter the park. Its night time and no one can be seen outside of their houses.
'Remember what you promised... Only one ride and then we are going home'
'Okay' I say frowning.
I go to the the swing and start singing a song which I heard a while ago.
A man covered in black is coming in our direction. He has something in his hand. I don't know why but I don't have a good feeling about him. With his lemon coloured hair being the only thing  visible and his face hidden with a black scarf he seems dangerous.
'You are dead Stinson' he says and lifts his arm to reveal a gun in his hand. The gun is pointed at my dad and I have lost the ability to think. There is a sound in the background which numbs me and I collapse on the ground.'

I wake up gasping for air. It was just a dream. The whole scene was just like the way it had happened. After I woke up  I found out that my father died and the police was investigating the case. I have regretted asking my father to come with me to the park everyday. Only if I would not have asked him, he would have been alive. Even though he treated my mum like crap, he still was my father and I still loved him. Over the time I have learnt not to blame myself for what happened but there is this tiny portion in my subconscious which constantly reminds me 'It was your fault.... Don't forget that, you don't have the right to live your life happily'
I have not had this dream for like months and now all of a sudden when finally I had come past it.... The dream is recurring.
After the night I spent at the beach with Noah, we attended school and the entire day was uneventful because I was sleep deprived and paid no attention to my surroundings. I came home more than tired and crashed on my bed. It had only been an hour since I fell asleep when this nightmare woke me up. No one knows about my dad except Rachel as I could not hide it from her. No one in the school knows that the incident which attained so much attention from the media was about my father. I never felt like telling anyone about this. This has been something I wanna forget about. I shouldn't even be able to remember it....I was 5 for god's sake and I can list out every detail of the day as if it happened yesterday. Tears are burning my eyes but I won't cry....I can't. It was very difficult to become this tough and I can't lose all the years of effort by melting down now. Thank god my mother is not home. If she had been, she would have asked me to contact the psychiatrist but I don't need that. I m totally fine now and I have learnt to be happy. I even have a new friend now. Thinking about Noah reminds me of his hair which was exactly like that of my father's killer.
I can't control anymore now.. tears are already falling down my face and I know it won't take me long to start howling. I have got to sleep. Sleep is the only thing which helps when I feel like this. I have got to control my dreams. I can't let a single dream ruin my life and the enormous amount of effort that I put in to get rid of these nightmares. I lie down on my bed and enter my dreams the next moment.
'I am at the beach with Noah enjoying the sunrise and I see my father coming down from the sky. Noah steams with anger. He takes out a gun from his pocket and aims at my dad. He killed my dad. How can that be .....he killed him .... My friend who is nothing but sweet is my dad's murderer.'
I wake up with tears rolling down my cheeks. I can't sleep. Now there is only one thing that can save me ....DRAWING. I take out my sheets, my pencils and some colours which I know I will use. I settle them all on my bed and start sketching. I let the pencil take control of my hand and it forms an outline of a man's face. I continue to draw and fix in the details for the next two hours and the sketch in front of me is that of my father. He looks happy in the picture. He had  always been a happy man. He didn't​ care about what everyone thought of him. He lived his life by his own terms. He had a piercing on his left eyebrow and had a number of tattoos on his upper body. He never seemed like a father to anyone​ we knew. He maintained himself with a lot of care and looked like he was in college. I loved him for who he was and would give everything it takes to have him back.
So a little revelation about Elly. How did you guys like the chapter??