Flight Of Fancy

15. Letter

"When will she wake up doctor?"
I recognise this voice as that of my mom.
"She just needs rest. It was due to some stress and lack of nutrition in her body that made her pass out"
I am able to listen all this but can't open my eyes. What in the world happened?
I remember that I went to Noah's with Rach and Alex to watch a movie. There we found him and Natalie breaking up. What happened after that??
My head hurts as if a dinosaur is walking on it. I can't take it anymore.
The sounds fade away in the background slowly as I enter my sleep.
************************************
I am awake now and totally fine physically atleast. I can't explain how I am feeling right now. There are a million of questions in my head but no one can answer them except one person....... NOAH.
Rach is here telling me about how she found me passed out and Noah was nowhere near me. She called the ambulance and then tried to find him without any success.
I can't tell any one about my confrontation with him right now. What if all he said was for fun. Maybe it was a joke or maybe he didn't even know what he was saying. But if what he said was true, I need to find him and with him my answers to the questions which have been in the back of my head since my father's death. I m not necessarily an emotional person but all I want to do is curl up in my bed and cry. I can't cry here because then everyone will ask what is wrong and I won't have an answer. The doctor says that I can go home in an hour once they have run all the tests and are sure that there is no further danger.
"Do you need anything, honey?"
"No mom just sit and relax, I m totally fine and will be discharged in an hour"
She worries a lot sometimes but I guess every mother in the world does.
I try to find my glasses near my pillow and my hand finds a paper. What could it be?
I snatch the paper from under my pillow and open it. There is a familiar handwriting. Its a letter written by Noah. I hope I find what I m searching for in here.
"Mom and Rach, could you please wait outside, I m not feeling well and I would like to take some rest. Please ask Alex not to enter inside"
"Yeah sure honey"
She says and moves out. There is a confused expression on Rach's face but nonetheless she goes out without uttering a word.
Should I open this?
Am I ready?
My curiosity gets the best of me and there lays the truth in front of my eyes.
'Dear Ell,
I know you have a lot of questions in your mind. I will try to answer them all and before that I would like to tell you that I am sorry on the behalf of my mother. I know that killing someone is never justified but she had her reasons. A person does what he or she thinks is right. For her killing your father was the correct thing. I m not taking her side or supporting her, I m just trying to say that please don't hate me or her for what she did. It started around the time when your mother, your father and my mom were in college together. Yeah they were in the same college. Your mom and dad kind of always clicked together but your​ mother was the type of person who wanted a serious relationship. Your dad on the other hand was not ready for commitment. He had been in a relationship with her for a few months when he thought that he had to breakup with her and for that he cheated on your mom with mine. You must try and understand that your dad was very popular in college and every girl wanted to be with him. When he chose my mom over yours, she was very happy and eventually fell for him which was a bad decision. They had an on and off relationship and your mom was out of the picture. My mom wanted to be a model and had many opportunities in front of her but everything was ruined when she got pregnant with your dad's child. Your dad instead of facing the problem with her left her alone. As I said, he didn't want any type of commitment. He left her and didn't come back until a lot later. My mother was married by the time and your dad found your mom again. She forgave him for cheating on her and decided to marry him. My mother had also forgiven him by then until one day they ran into each other again. He declared his love for her. He said that your mom was only a distraction and he wanted to be with my mom. She said that she was happily married and didn't have anything to do with him. But a man in love can go down to the level even he would have never thought existed. He created problems in the relationship of my mom and dad. They were on the verge of getting a divorce when she thought that it was enough and that she couldn't take it anymore. She planned to kill him. She recorded a male voice saying "You are dead, Stinson" and took the recording with her when she went in search of him. She killed him and a day after that she commited suicide. She couldn't take the guilt. She explained all of this in a letter to me. It was given to me when I turned ten. And in that she kinda made me promise that I will look after the girl he left behind. I will always take care of you Elizabeth​ Stinson. I wanted to know you when I learned all this. I came to this town whenever I got the opportunity. I saw you smile, I saw you cry. I got happy when you won that art competition. I tried to learn how to sketch because you liked doing it. I never realized that looking at you and observing you made me fall in love with you.
I can not fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words which laid the foundation of my love.
It is too long ago.
I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.
I know how much you love pride and prejudice so I thought that nothing would describe my feelings more than this particular quote from your favourite book. I know that you probably don't wish to see me but I love you and always will. When the time for my forgiveness comes, I will come back but for now ..... You need some time to think. I m going and I will stay away until you have cleared up your mind. I ll always know how you are and if you ever find someone who you love the way I do you don't let him go. There is one more thing. I should not be asking this from you but I request and this is not for me. Please try and make Will feel at home. He is joining this school in the hope to meet me and you. He knows everything about you except the fact that I m head over heels for you. Just treat him as a friend if you can and if you can't I totally understand. I m sorry for asking you for a favour. Love you and don't forget that I ll be back. Just try and forgive my mom. In a way your dad also killed my mother. Still I know that taking someone's life is never the solution.
-Yours and only yours Noah