I'll Keep This Secret For You

Chapter 12

Bucky's POV:

"You know, (Y/N) had a baby." I smile at the thought as I sits at the edge of my camp bed across from Steve, hunched over with my elbows on my knees.

I still can't quite believe the man before me. It has been about a week now since Captain America rescued me.

"Really? Congratulations." Steve gasps.

"Thanks, yeah, a little girl." I sigh at the bittersweet thought.

"Tell me about her." Steve says quietly.

"I haven't actually met her." I huff sadly. "But (Y/N)'s told me all about her."

"Oh man that's hard. I'm sorry." Steve sighs and looks at me sympathetically.

"Yeah it really is. Like harder than I first thought it was going to be. We didn't find out she was pregnant until I was already gone so it was too late to change anything, there was nothing I could do." I shake my head and swallow the lump in my throat.

I've never talked about it with anyone like this before, not even Falsey.

"What's she like?" Steve smiles with a twinkle in his eye.

"Here, I have a picture." I mumble as I fish it out from under my pillow. "That's the most recent one I've got." I say as I hand it over.

It's a picture of Luke sitting with Isla on his knees. An adorable grin spread across her face and Luke smiling brightly as he always does.

"Oh Bucky she's beautiful." Steve gasps, his eyes full of admiration. "And Luke's gotten so big!"

"I know right. Doesn't time fly? She just turned one last week." I smile.

"She's the perfect mixture of you two. She even looks like Luke." He says in awe as his eyes trace the picture. "What's her name?"

"Her name is Isla. She's got brown hair and blue eyes. Apparently she is just an absolute bundle of laughs, so happy and smiley and energetic." I sigh.

"Takes after you then." Steve nods in approval.

"I guess so." I huff, thinking otherwise.

"Wow she sounds amazing Buck. It's cos she's got such good parents." Steve smirks.

"Well, parent, at the moment." I huff frustratedly.

"She's got your genes too you know. You can't help it that you aren't there to help raise her." Steve says and puts a hand on my shoulder.

The tent is a small cramped space so we are literally sitting with our knees touching.

I look up at him with a wry smile.

"It must be hard." He says gravely.

"Damn right. It really is." I huff. "She's just growing up so fast and has no idea who I am. I keep thinking, what if I get to go home one day and she just doesn't want to know me, doesn't care for me, resents me even. I love her so much you know but I'm just not there for her in the way I should be."

"Buck, you know that won't happen." Steve says seriously. "No matter how long you are at war for (Y/N) will bring her up to know all the amazing things about you, what a good man you are. She will explain to her your circumstances and that if you could be there you would. By the time you get home she will probably know more about the real you then you do, both her and Luke. And you are there for her, as much as you can be. Jesus man, you're fighting a war to make a better world for her to live in!"

I let out a heavy breath and roll my eyes.

"I'm fighting this war because I have to. If i could go home i would." I mumble. "Besides, that doesn't mean that things will be normal. You can't tell me that I'll get home and it'll be the perfect daddy daughter combo. Maybe with Luke, but to her I'm a stranger. And it just feels so wrong because I know so much about her."