I'll Keep This Secret For You

Chapter 17

You eye him wearily as he sighs and slowly starts to remove his glove. You can't help but sharply draw in a breath and cover your mouth with your hand at what you see.

You've never seen anything like it.

Gone is the flesh and bone hand that used to hold yours, or stroke your cheek, or caress your skin. Instead it has been replaced with some shiny, metal contraption.

But it's not like a normal prosthetic that you've often seen. It looks exactly like a normal hand. With precise, delicate fingers and joints. Except it's made up of silver plates.

Eyeing you concerned, Bucky slowly flexes his new fingers causing them to make a faint buzzing sound.

"W-what happened to it?" You stutter, unable to take your eyes off of the strange thing.

"I don't know. It must've happened when I fell from the train because when I woke up it was just not there." He shrugs.

"Oh my god Bucky." You gasp as tears spring to your eyes.

"No no no please don't cry!" he exclaims softly and wiggles his fingers and flexes his arm. "It's okay, look see? I have full control over it."

"D-does it hurt you?" you whimper and tentatively touch it.

"Not anymore now that I'm used to it but at first when I had only just gotten it and my shoulder was still healing around it it was so heavy and painful and the scar was sore and it felt like it was weighing me down. When I first saw that I had lost my arm I was so cold that it was just numb but it quickly started to hurt like hell." He explains gravely.

"Wait a minute," you frown concerned. "Shoulder? Scar? Arm? How far up does this thing actually go?"

Something changes on his face and he shuffles his position so that he can shrug off his blazer and tug down the collar of his shirt.

A squeak leaves your lips as his exposed skin begins to reveal ragged red scarring which then leads on to metal before you even reach the point of his shoulder.

"Please don't freak out. It still works exactly like an arm, it still looks like an arm. It is just my arm." He says worriedly towards your reaction.

"It goes all the way up?" You gasp and start to undo his top.

He let's you pull it off so that you can examine it fully and never takes his eyes off at you. It's not just his arm that concerns you or the nasty scarring around it. There are various other scars dotting his torso too and he is thinner than you remember.

After a few minutes of shocked silence and you just stroking absentmindedly at the scar on his shoulder Bucky finally speaks up.

"Well? Say something, please," he mumbles.

"There's nothing to say," you shrug. "It's a part of you now and there's nothing wrong with that."

"You're not scared of it?" he asks tentatively.

"Why would I be scared of it?" you chuckle confused.

"Because it makes me look like some kind of monster," he bows his head ashamed.

"Bucky!" you gasp. "You are not a monster! You just helped save potentially millions of peoples lives. In fact, I love this thing."

"You do?" he looks at you hopefully.

"Mhm, see," you grin and carefully take his left hand in yours, gently pressing a soft kiss to each finger tip.

His face lights up in a smile and he pulls you in for a sweet kiss
"I love you so much doll," he whispers.

"Can you feel things? Like when I do this?" you ask and poke his metal bicep.

"Yep. I can feel everything. It works just like a normal arm except it's stronger."

"And who made it for you? I've never seen anything like it!"

"Howard Stark," he grins proudly.

"No way," you gasp. "You mean to tell me that you met your man crush for the last however many years and he fixed you up?"

"In the flesh and blood," he chuckles. "And get this. He knows my name."

"Wow," you gasp, humouring him but also slightly jealous.

"And he even said that next time he's in New York we should catch up for coffee."

"Okay that is actually amazing."

"I know," he says cockily, clearly proud of himself.

"Bucky we have to show the kids this," you point out more seriously.

"I know," he huffs a lot more self consciously.

"And I can see that you're still warming up to it which is understandable but you have to act more sure of yourself about it around them or else they might be scared of it."

"This full time parenting thing is going to take some getting used to," he sighs.

"You'll be fine," you grin and nudge him. "Now come on, let's get this over with."

You hold out a hand for him to take and he begrudging let's you pull him up off the couch. He puts his shirt back on and then rolls the sleeve up to his elbow.

"Just not the scars yet please. Give them time," he murmurs.

"Fair enough."

You quietly lead him to the kids bedroom, knock three times and then open the door.

"Kids?" you ask quietly.

"Mummy!" they both erupt out of no where and come running over to you.

Or in Isla's case, waddling.

"Where's dad?" Luke asks, smiling from ear to ear.

"Right here," you say and open the door to reveal him. "We've got something to show you."

Their attention clicks into focus and they watch Bucky expectantly as he slowly pulls his hand out from behind his back where he was hiding it, his face rigid and nervous with anticipation.

You can hear their gasps and watch as their faces and eyes light up in amazement.

"Woah," Luke exclaims. "How does it work?"

"Just like normal," Bucky says simply and wiggles his fingers again.

Isla reaches out and touches it while Bucky leans down to show her better as if to check that it is actually real. It surprises both of you to see that she starts giggling and clapping excitedly about it.

"No way this is so cool! My dad's half robot!" Luke exclaims.

You can't help but laugh and the happy, relieved look on Bucky's face says it all.