I'll Keep This Secret For You

Chapter 22

WARNING: SMUTTY CONTENT!

"Mummy mummy look who's here!" Isla squeals as she comes running up to you the minute you set foot in the door.

You look up to see your mother there. "Oh hi mum." You smile surprised. "I didn't know you were coming over?"

"I thought I might take the kids out for the afternoon. Give you and Bucky a break. They can even stay the night at mine if you'd like."

You silently praise her. This offer couldn't have come at a better time.

"That would be great." You sigh. "Wouldn't it Buck?" You turn to him just as he walks in from the kitchen.

"Well I'll miss them but it would be nice." He pouts and shrugs and comes over to place his arm around your waist. "I suppose I'll survive since I've got you to keep me company." He grins down at you.

"Excellent. We better get going then. There's lots we can do! Come on little ones lets go," she exclaims happily as she takes Isla's and Luke's hands and leads them out the door.

The minute it closes you and Bucky collapse down on the couch, letting out sighs of relief.

"This is just what we need." You huff.

"This is going to be so nice." He nods in agreement. "Just me and you and piece and quiet."

"We can do whatever we want." You sigh.

"Anything at all?" He smirks. "Anywhere we want?"

"Sure." You chuckle.

Despite what you just said you realise how tired you are and you know Bucky must be too. You'll have time for other things later. A nap would be quite nice right now. So you snuggle up to him with your head on his chest and he wraps an arm around you.

"Guess what." You mumble suddenly remembering your lunch with Peggy.

"Hm?" He murmurs tiredly.

"Peggy's pregnant."

"Wow really? That's so cool!" he says but you know that he's half asleep. "Good for them." He yawns and trails off.

"Yeah," you agree, nodding slightly.

"You know I meant what I said the other week, about wanting to have another child with you," he continues to your surprise in a lazy, croaky tone.

"I do too. But I need to talk to you about something first," you answer.

"What's that?" He mumbles.

This could be an advantage, he's too tired to fight.

"I'm worried about you Buck. I know that whatever happened to you is still affecting you now-"

"No doll, I'm fi-"

"Don't say that. I know you're not. I'm with you all the time. I can see the changes. I see you having your nightmares. It's awful Buck. I know that it's going to make you act in ways that you wouldn't normally and that you can't help that and it's okay. And I want you to know that it's okay. I'm going to stand by you and support you in any way that I can throughout this whole ordeal. If you ever want to talk about it I'm here. I know I'll never fully understand it but I'll try my best and always love you no matter what."

He remains silent so you look up at him to see tears in his eyes.

"What if people think I'm crazy?" He whimpers.

"You're not crazy," you assure him.

"But I can't stop seeing the things I did and the things that happened to me every single day. I can't help feeling guilty."

"I have no idea what it's like but whatever I can do to help just let me know."

"Thank you doll, that makes me feel better already. And I'm sorry in advance for everything, for the nightmares, for the constant anxiety nibbling at my stomach. I'll try to push it all down but I honestly just can't help it."

"Buck it's okay. And one more thing, with having another child. I would love to do that but I'm just worried that it would be too much for you," you explain nervously.

"That's the thing. Trust me. I've thought long and hard about this because it is a serious thing. And I think that having another kid would be good. It'd give me something to focus on and look forward to, he happy when they're here. Already I know that around Luke and Isla I feel so much better. I seem to forget about all my worries."

"Well if your sure, then I trust you." You sigh.

"Oh believe me I'm sure, this is what I want more than anything in the world." He smiles down at you, his eyes glassy with the need to sleep.

"Okay then. It's settled." You grin and lean up to peck him on the lips. "Now go to sleep, you look even more exhausted than I feel. There'll be plenty of time later on to do stuff. I'll be right here with you."

He doesn't need to be told twice before he is snuggling down into the couch and closing his eyes.

"I love you (Y/N)." Is the last thing he murmurs.

As you watch him happily, it isn't long before you feel his breathing slowing and becoming steady as he drifts off to sleep completely. You sigh contently, he's finally getting some rest. Letting yourself fall asleep too, you listen to the soft drumming of his heart as you indulge in his warmth.

~~~~

You don't know how long you fall asleep for but you feel well rested and it's still light outside. Carefully you look up to see Bucky still out to it, his head tilted back and his mouth slightly ajar. He looks so cute and peaceful like this. Apart from the stubble on his jaw and cheeks he looks like a baby.

Although you don't want to leave him alone, you are satisfied with the fact that he has slept soundly without having a nightmare. So you decide that he should be alright by himself for a while if you just go have a quick shower to freshen up.

Slowly and quietly you peel yourself away from him and head to the bathroom, but not before tucking a blanket around his sleeping form.

In the shower you wash yourself and soak in the warmth of the water, letting it run over your head and shoulders releasing the tension in your neck. However, it isn't long before the door creaks open and in walks a sleepy looking Bucky. His hair all fluffy and rubbing his eyes as he let's out a big yawn.

"Morning sleepyhead." You chuckle.

"Is that how long I slept for?" he teases.

"You were out to it," you explain as you run your hands through your soaking hair.

"It was a bloody good sleep I can tell you that much." He yawns again.

"That's good, you needed it," you remark.

"Hey remember what we were talking about doing earlier?" he asks innocently.

"Yes..." You trail off cunningly.

"Mind if I join you in there?" He smirks.

"Oh by all means, be my guest." You smile and quirk an eyebrow.

His drowsiness seems to disappear as he rips his clothes off in a flash and jumps into the small space beside you. The hot water droplets drip down his body causing his hair to become plastered to his forehead and just making him all round ten times sexier if that is even possible.

He encircles your waist, pulling you flush against him and trails his fingers all over your torso igniting sparks on your skin. You could swear the room gets steamier than it already is.

He captures your lips in a fervent kiss, one of your hands makes its way to the nape of his neck and tugs gently at the base of his hair while you teasingly run your lips down to his collarbone and suck lightly, just the way he likes it. Consequently a deep, low moan elicits from the back of his throat and under the heat of the shower you loose yourself in him once again.