I'll Keep This Secret For You

Chapter 87

"We're loosing her!" The doctor shouts frantically.

It's strange to think that they're talking about you. If anything at the moment you feel the most at ease that you have ever since this whole ordeal started. Sure, you feel sick and weak and in pain but there's just a soft edge to everything now, the lighting is warm not harsh, the voices muffled not loud.

"We're going to have to do a c-section on her." The doctor continues.

Oh god, you've heard about those. And they don't tend to end well.

Suddenly Bucky is on his feet from beside you, his hand slipping from your grasp and yours falling limply off the side of the bed as you watch helplessly.

"What?!" He bursts out. "No!"

You can hear Blue starting to cry at all the commotion.

"Buck, give him to me." You mumble quietly.

You just want to hold your baby one time just incase this is really it.

He looks down at you, his expression torn before turning back to the doctor choosing to ignore you. Clearly he's heard the kind of stuff you have about this surgery too.

"Mr Barnes right now it is the baby or nothing. A c-section will allow us to get your baby out safely provided that they are still alive." The doctor explains, his face serious and voice grave.

Bucky seems to stumble backwards in disbelief, slumping back down into his chair. He looks at you in horror, then at the tiny baby in his arms and then back up at the doctor.

"Y-you mean to tell me, that there's no way my wife is coming out of this alive?" He asks weakly, his voice cracking at the end.

"Buck please." You sob and reach fraily for him. "Please. Let me hold him."

Trembling, he hands the baby over to you. You take him in your arms and look into his tiny grey eyes that watch you, slightly confused and concerned.

"Hey little guy." You whimper and swallow your tears. "I love you so much. I'm so sorry."

You press a gentle kiss between his eyebrows.

Beside you, Bucky is running his hands through his hair, his eyes slightly unfocussed as he tries to make sense of this all.

"At this rate, not doing a caesarean will be a 100% chance of death. But doing so will reduce the chances to only 80%." The doctor says calmly.

But then suddenly Bucky slams his fists against the chair.

"No!" He practically growls. "That's not good enough! I'm not loosing her!"

"We will do our best to save her," the doctor remains calm.

"W-why? Why isn't there another way?" Bucky whimpers. "80%? That's nothing!"

"Bucky please." You cry. "For the baby. Think of the baby. Do it for them."

"I'm sorry Sergeant Barnes but this is our only option. Don't make me make this decision for you, because I know which one you want to make. I suggest that you say your goodbyes just incase and get dressed into some scrubs immediately." The doctor continues firmly.

"At least one of us can come out of this." You continue.

Bucky turns to you, tears streaming down both of your cheeks. He's in complete and utter shock. At the sight of his face you break down crying, sobs wracking your entire body. Immediately he embraces you in the biggest hug ever, burying your head in his chest and cupping the back of your head.