I'll Keep This Secret For You

Chapter 35

The only way you find comfortable to sleep at the moment is on your right side. Don't ask you why because all you know is that it is far to uncomfortable to even try lying on your back or the left side, must be something to do with the position of the baby. It's also too uncomfortable to hug Bucky, it's not like you can get anywhere near him anyway because you're just so fricken huge. So all you end up doing every night is facing towards the right with Bucky spooning you, his metal arm draped over your waist because the cool surface is actually somewhat soothing.

You're three weeks away from your due date and you're at that point where you just feel big, fat, ugly, exhausted, useless, uncomfortable and achy all the time. You don't want to do anything, you don't want to be messed with, you don't want to be touched except for when Bucky spoons you and even then he's got to do it just right, you even find your temper getting a little short with the kids at the moment too. Their excitement for the new arrival is just too intense for you right now. Sure, you can't wait for the baby to come and you're excited too but it's becoming more that you just want the thing to hurry up and come out.

This is definitely the worst you've felt out of any of your pregnancies so far. You're bigger than before, your back hurts more, your ankles are more swollen, you're more tired, more exhausted, spend more time feeling like shit. Basically everything is just more.

"Bucky," you croak when you wake up early one morning because your back is just in agony. You can't see him but you know he's asleep from the soft snores leaving his lips. Glad to see at least one of us is getting a good sleep, you think. "Buck." You nudge the sleeping form behind you. Still nothing. Without turning over you grab one of his metal fingers and shake his arm.

"Huh? What?" He mumbles drowsily as he shoots up in bed suddenly.

Although he looks funny with his fluffy bed hair and still being half asleep you're too miserable and don't have the energy to laugh.

"Can you please give me a back massage?" You pout, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. "Please? My back is killing me."

"Of course sweetheart." He sighs and smiles contently, leaning down to place a kiss on your cheek. "Anything for you doll."

As he massages your back you melt into the bed, relaxing as you feel some of the tension in your muscles release. You swear Bucky has magic fingers, and not just on the metal hand.

"Ohhhhh." You moan in pleasure.

Bucky chuckles under his breath. "That good?"

"Hell yes." You nod.

"Well it's the least I can do for you after all you're doing for me," he says quietly. "I'm sorry you feel so crappy."

All of a sudden the phone starts to ring.

"Ugh who could that be at this time?" You groan and burry your head in the pillow.

"Don't worry about it, I've got it," he whispers in your ear before kissing your cheek once more and climbing carefully over you to get up.

While he's gone you try to drift off again but are soon interrupted.

"Mumma?" A quiet voice says.

You open your eyes to see Isla standing in the doorway sucking her thumb and rubbing her eyes tiredly.

"Aw baby what's wrong?" You ask her, propping yourself up on one elbow.

"The phone woke me up," she mumbles with a pout on her face.

"Aw sweetie that's no good! Come here." You smile kindly and motion for her to jump up into the bed, melting at the sight of her.

Her face lights up and she comes running over to you and curls her tiny body up against your chest. Your heart swells and you feel so much better just having her there. You honestly can't imagine life without her or Luke now. You love them both so much and them and Bucky are the best things that have ever happened to you.