Tom Holland Imagines

Broken

*warning!; anorexia, depression, loneliness, bad parents*

You had anorexia and we're stuck in the hospital - had been since you were twelve an 'accident' as they called it, happened. A year before it happened you had stopped eating in school and just threw away the lunch your mum gave you. You also stopped eating breakfast and just lied to your parents.

Then came the 'accident'. You were just normal when at school some called you a fat and then beat you up, not too bad but it left a mark, on the inside. So when you got no one was there, probably at work, you went straight up to the bathroom and tried sticking a toothbrush down your throat so you would throw up and get thinner - if that was possible. They said you were probably one of the youngest to try.

After that, you were taken to the hospital and only saw you parents about twice a year, like they had forgotten about you. Trying to have a normal life. You were now twenty and still underweight.

It was your new life, sleeping here, making new friends (even though you didn't like to) they even had a school here for the permanent patients and you ate here, but not much.

You stayed in your room almost all the time except for when you were called out for an extra test or stuff because they didn't have the right equipment in your already wired up room. If you did go out it was to welcome the new patients and become a friend, until they left.

Not many people stay which is why you don't open up very much anymore. You would also come out if there were special visitors. Once Beyoncé came and you got an autograph on the picture of the both of you. But that rarely happens.

You were watching the trailer for Spider-Man: Homecoming and some random edits of Tom and Harrison. They were the new thing to watch on your iPad. Your phone was a blackberry since you haven't got any money and that was the last thing you got thing your parents.

One day you saw that they were going to hospitals with Tom in his suit to try and cheer them up. You heart instantly leapt at the chance at meeting Harrison.... and Tom.

But mainly Harrison.

You were fond of him the most since he never ceased to make you smile. He was the highlight of your day, just seeing his social media or YouTube videos. You had always wanted to be a photographer but never had the chance. Obviously.

You rushed to Nurse Jackson and frantically asked her to call the studios or anyone connected with Tom to visit out the hospital.

"Nurse Jackson! N-Nurse Jackson!" You yelled running down the hallway and skidding around the corners to catch up to her. Out of breath, you rested your hands on your knees to steady your heart. She laughed gently at your actions.

"What is it (Y/N)?" She asked smiling. You showed her your iPad and the complication of Tom in hospitals made by a fan. "I'm still confused." She simply said.

"Tom Holland, the Spider-Man is going round to all the hospitals as he travels and visiting everyone!" You said freaking out. "PLEASEEEEEE CALL THEM!!" You pleaded with the adorable puppy eyes she couldn't resist.

"I'll tell you what. If you can get the number, I will do everything in my power to get him here." She said pointing her finger at you. You screeched really loudly and ran back to your room in your green tracksuit bottoms and Marvel shirt saying 'I'm not a psycho I'm just a highly functioning fangirl if Marvel'.

***

Nurse Jackson came in after half an hour of you searching for numbers. You had found it! The number to contact them and all she had to do was call them. You have her the number and she said "I'll be back soon." Smiling she left and sat there for another half an hour writing in your diary.

You kept all your feelings in there and some deep stuff about your illness.

***

You heard a knock over your YouTube video and took off the headphones, Turing around you saw Nurse Jackson with a sad smile. You instantly frowned and hung your head to the side like a confused puppy.

"I'm really sorry (Y/N)." She said changing the weight to her other foot. You smiled thankfully at her.

"It's fine, thanks for trying." You said and then put your headphones back on, turning back to your iPad and thinking about how screwed up your life is,

That's another entry in the depressing book.

***

A few days later you were sitting in your room when something red crawled through your bedroom door. At first, you didn't realise what it was and freaked out yelling a little. Then realising it was Tom in his Spidey suit you laughed and threw your head back as he came up to his normal height and sat on the edge of your bed with his mask off.

"Hey, (Y/N). Thanks for inviting us." He said smiling. The only thought running through your head was. Where is Harrison? As well as, Why did Nurse Jackson lie? and like a gazillion other fangirl questions.

"Thanks for coming." You said. Okay good, smooth (Y/N), reaall smooooothh. "Where's Harrison?" You blurted out. Shit. Code red. CODE RED EVERYONE! Tom chuckled and smirked.

"Right here, love." Someone said from the doorway. You froze and slowly flickered your eyes over towards the voice, then instantly looked down.

"Crap." You whispered and then looked up. "Sorry, I was just wondering. Since you two are always together." You said hoping they would buy it.

"It's all right." He said, eyes darting around the room and smiling at all of your decorations and drawings. When his eyes landed on your diary. He looked at you for permission and you thought why not? It's not like he'll see me again. So you nodded in permission.

"So why are you here (Y/N)?" Tom asked and out of the corner of your eyes, you could see Harrison picking up your diary. "I mean you're like what nineteen?" He questioned.

"Twenty and I'm anorexic." You said. Looking down at your hands.

Harrisons POV

I picked up (Y/N)'s book and read a random entry as Tom asked her questions.

They don't want to know how I feel. Some people ask me to express my feeling, they don't mean my actual feelings, they mean the feeling they want me to have. Cause people can't deal with dark or scary or weird.

They want me to smile and say "Yeah, I'm fine. Everythings great... I'm better now." So they can just go on with their boring lives and never think about me again.

But I'm not better and I keep waiting for someone to figure that out and they don't. I mean of course they don't, cause as long as I say the right thing and act the right way they're happy. Cause that means that they cured me right?

I mean I'm fine. Yeah, aside from the non-eating, the jumpiness, the constant over-whelming crushing fear that I might die or my parents will find out I'm still ill. Like they care. It's called hyper vigilance. The constant fear of being under threat.

The threat of not being smart enough, losing friends or not being skinny enough.

I'm never going to be good enough.

She's broken.

~

A/N ~ Hope you like this! I'm thinking it would be better with a part two, what do you think?