The smile that was ignored (KIMTAEHYUNGXBTS) (Completed)

Chapter 29

Kim Taehyung pov

After having so much fun on the vacation. A month have passed. After the treatment, symptoms getting worse like what Seojin hyung said. I keep vomiting every morning. I sometime lost my balance. I try my best to be okay but I can't help to show my weakness to my members.

As they promise they stay with me. All the time I need someone to comfort me. They come to me first, lend me their hands. Give me a hug that I need. Give me a smile that comfort me. They always there.

This is what I want. I have someone by my side. But the more they do that the more I felt guilty to let them stay by my side. I have been thinking about all of this. If I'm getting worse they will be the one who hurt the most. They will suffered the most. I don't want it to be like that.

I felt like I'm so selfish for thinking about myself only. When I said this to Jimin hyung, He said its okay. They are willing to do all of this. They care for me. But I know they are afraid. Afraid of losing me. I know they are crying every night. They are crying when I have to go to hospital to receive my treatment.

But they stay strong for me. They stay smiling for me. I know all of it. I felt my body worsen. I felt it. Its getting worse. Seojin hyung said I'm should stay strong for people who are around me. I tried. I tried every second but I just don't know if all my effort worth it. What if......

No! Think positive Tae. Think of your members. Your family. Your friends. ARMYs. This people keep me strong. When I felt like giving up they were the one who will keep appeared on my mind to tell me to keep living.

Remember the list? I have done most of it. I look at the list at my hand. All the members know about this. They help me with it.

Things to do before I go...
✅1) Go to a beautiful place with my members and have a vacation there.
✅2)Go to a field trip with Seojin hyung.
✅3) meet my family again.
4) Spend my time with ARMYs in the fanmeeting.
✅5) Eat outside with the members.
✅6) buy a gifts to all the members.
7) Gather everyone that I love and make a party😆
8) Make the members smile everyday.
✅9)Spend my times with my family sometime.
10)  Close my eyes beside all the people that I love..

Today, I'm going to spend my time with ARMYs in a fanmeeting. Its on my wish list. I'm afraid how will they feel about all of this. We have been so quite for a few months and its all because of me. But when Bighit announce about this fanmeeting they were so happy. I hope they will continue be happy.

[at the fan meeting]

We are here at the venue that enough thousands of people. Its kind of special fan meeting. Its like a mini concert actually. We are perfoming some songs and playing games.

The fan meeting going really well. We are having so much fun with each other company. I know the other members miss ARMYs. I miss ARMYs too. And I know ARMYs miss us too. 

When the ending is near, bighit prepared this one slot for us, the members give some speeches . All of the members give some speeches  that show how much they miss ARMYs. Its so cute by the way.

When its my turn, I looked around and thought 'I will miss this' . I take a deep breath and show my smile.

"ARMYs~" I said excitedly. The ARMYs start to cheering really loudly. Its make me felt better though.

" I miss you guys so much! I have been thinking about you guys!" I spoke sincerely. The ARMYs start to reply with 'we miss you too' and so on. They are so cute.

" I want you guys to know, eventhough we are far, you guys will always be in my mind and heart. Before I go, please know that even when I died I will never regret my decision to be a singer. Its all because of you. I want to thanks my members that always stay by my side. Please love us equally. I love you guys so much." I said with my tears started to flowing on my cheek. I really mean every words that I said. I never regret the time when I said yes to bang pdnim, never.

After the fanmeeting end, all of us go to the backstage with a smile. The members were crying when they hear my speech because they know what I mean. That may be the last speech that I gave.

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When the night come, Our excitement slow down a little bit. That is when my body felt so tired. My headache that attack me doesnt help at all. I just lay on the couch while the other members cooking. They don't allow me to go to the kitchen though.

My headache getting worse and worse every second. I tried to calm down. Maybe its nothing. After a few moments, I can't even process what is happening around me. Its getting blurry. I tried to called my members but my mouth stay shut.

When I can't endure the pain anymore, I just let myself drown in the darkness

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Author note

Can't believe this book is gonna end soon😭 Thanks for staying.

Feel free to correct my mistakes. Vote and comment if this book worth it^^

Stay happy, stay positive and stay healthy! I love you guys sooooo much!!!