Sure About It (Hanson)

Chapter 17

Whitney woke up the next morning at seven. She just lay there for a minute, staring up at the baby blue ceiling. "I'm gonna have Taylor' s baby," she whispered to herself,"I'll always have a piece of him." That thought made her happy and sad at the same time. She would have his child, but never him. She felt tears sting her eyes. She had held the tears back so many times, but this time, this moment, she just let them flow free. They glided silently down her cheeks and soaked her pillow and hair.

She had to have been crying at least ten minutes when a quiet knock sounded on the door and then it slowly opened, and Taylor slipped into her room.
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Taylor had woken up at a little after 6:30 and had been laying in his bed, thinking of the events of the past days. He stared up at the white ceiling with his arms behind his head. So much was happening and so fast. He didn't regret his decision. He knew how happy it had made Whitney. He just wasn't sure if he would be in the child's life. He wanted to, but what if it got out?, as it eventually would. So many rumors, and then people would wonder why he didn't marry the mother of his first child. He could easily just say he never wanted to see the baby and deny that it was his, but Whitney was right when she said it'd be hard for him to watch the child grow up from afar. Never knowing he was its father. And Whitney would have a hard time. People whispering behind her back that she was slut, no matter what she told them. And money problems. He could give the child an easy life and support it and Whitney. He sighed. "So much to still decide," he said to the silence.

Suddenly he had a feeling Whitney needed him. He got up and walked across the hall, knocked on her door and let himself in. She lay with tears streaking down her cheeks.

She quickly wiped them away as he sat down on the edge of her bed. "Whitney," he said, taking her hand,"what's wrong?"

She sat up and leaned against the headboard,"oh, nothing." she gave a weak smile,"just thinking about stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" he studied her face.

She shook her head slightly,"you wouldn't be interested."

"You don't know that....something's bothering you. You were crying. Why?"

She gazed down and started picking at a thread on her comforter,"I...it'll make you feel guilty, or you'll feel like I'm forcing you to lo..." she caught herself before she would've blurted it out.

Taylor suddenly understood. "Love you?" he finished her sentence quietly.

She nodded, still looking down,"I didn't want to tell you cause I said no strings attached if you wanted that, and I meant it." A tear escaped and left a trail down her cheek. He brushed it away,"I love you as a friend...for now...I don't really know you that well....I wish I could tell you right here and now that I feel the same for you as you do for me. I don't like seeing you cry, and knowing I'm the cause of your tears."

She lifted her eyes and met his. "It's okay," she whispered,"I can't make you love me and I don't want you to feel guilty because I'm not the one for you." She lifted a hand and softly brushed it across his cheek, then dropped it back into her lap,"Whatever girl gets you is so lucky." She gave a slight smile,"I only hope she'll know that."

He laced his fingers through hers. "Who knows?" he said quietly,"maybe you are the one for me and I'm just too blind to see it now."

"Maybe," but inside she knew that her and Taylor just wasn't meant to be.