Book 2: Nothing Seems to Please Me (Duff McKagan FanFic)

Ch. 24: I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

That same morning, I moved all of my shit out of Duff's room and into Steven's room. Of course, Steven was thrilled to take me in. I was just glad he didn't ask me why I decided to switch roommates.

As the days passed, the guys were home less and less, and I left them alone. I knew they were busy recording their first big album and I wished them the best of luck. Until it was done, I'd just enjoy all of the alone time I was getting at the apartment.

Today, I was busy snorting cocaine and watching cartoons when the guys burst through the door.

"Aw, Max!" Steven whined. "You started without me!"

I giggled and handed him the rolled up dollar bill as he lumbered over to the coffee table to join in on my drug use. The rest of the guys seemed more interested in actually talking to me.

"We just finished the album!" Axl announced. I felt my eyes growing wide.

"No way!" I cried.

"Yeah, and we figured you oughtta' be the first to know-outside of the band, of course," Izzy added.

"Rad, man," I said, nodding my head. "When do I get to hear it?"

"Right now!" Slash interjected, shoving a cassette into a player and hitting the play button.

The opening to Welcome to the Jungle exploded from the speakers and I grinned.

"This is kick ass!" I shouted over the guitar.

I listened intently to every track up until Rocket Queen. It was pure art. As Axl's voice stopped and the song came to a close I jumped up and wrapped my arms around Izzy and Slash's necks, since they were the ones closest to me.

"I'm so proud of you guys! I told you you could do it!" I cried, bouncing in place.

"I like Max when she's high," Steven giggled. "Can we keep her this way forever?"

Axl chuckled and shook his head. I detached myself from Izzy and Slash and noticed Duff was watching me, a strange expression on his face. He looked kind of angry, but his eyes looked sad and full of hurt. I wanted to hug him, but something held me back. Instead, I turned and sat beside Steven and draped an arm around his shoulders.

"So, what's next?" I asked, excited for them and bursting with pride.

"We go on tour to promote the album, of course!" Slash cheered.

"Sweet. How long?"

"About a year," Duff's voice was low and raspy. It was so out of character that we all turned to him with shock on our faces.

My heart dropped. "A...year?"

He nodded solemnly, glancing at the floor and kicking at it with his boot.

"Damn," I let out a weak laugh. "Long ass time."

"You'll come with us, right?" Steven gave me a hopeful look. I peeked at Duff who simply stared up at the ceiling, refusing to look my way.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," I mumbled.

"What? Why?" Steven demanded.

I shrugged. "You guys need to focus on your music and all that good stuff. More importantly, I need to stop mooching off of you and find my own place."

"You can stay here," Slash said, hopefully.

I glanced at Duff's grave face and shook my head gently. "No. I'll find my own place. You guys have done enough for me as it is."

Please say something, Duff. Tell me you love me again. Tell me to come with you. Show me you're not still mad at me.

He just sat there, his arms folded over his chest.

"Well, I hope you find what you're looking for," Axl said with a reassuring grin.

I sighed. "Me too."