Book 2: Nothing Seems to Please Me (Duff McKagan FanFic)

Ch. 27: Truth Is

Tomorrow was the big day, and I was nervous as hell. There had been regional competitions earlier to weed out the crappier bands, which Autumn's Fall had already passed with their old lead singer. The singer had quit just before the championship, which was being judged by Guns, and now, I felt the pressure to help lead the band to victory.

Coco had been visiting my house as often as possible, going over some of the band's singles so I would know at least one song to sing at the competition. So far, none of the lyrics were sticking very well.

"Come on, Red. You're a great singer, you're just not getting into it."

I shrugged. "I'm trying, Coco! It's just...these aren't me. They're not my songs. I don't feel anything for them. They don't speak to me."

Coco went from agitated to understanding in seconds. She giggled and rolled her eyes. "Is that what the problem is?"

I shrugged and nodded.

"Well," she scanned over all of the papers around us. They had lyrics and music notes scribbled all over them in sloppy writing. "I guess I can't blame you for that. This is all our old singer's music, after all."

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be difficult-"

"Don't worry about it, hun," she said, shaking her head and causing her tight curls to bounce around her face.

She began to gather up the papers and stuff them into her bag. I watched her silently. This was my chance to open up to her. To tell her what had been nagging at me for the passed week.

I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. "Coco, I...I know Guns'N'Roses."

The sound of rustling papers came to an abrupt halt and I heard her utter a "what?"

I slowly opened my eyes and saw her gaping at me. I bit my lip. "I know Guns'N'Roses. I knew them before they were famous. But Duff and I..."

I trailed off. She looked appalled by my confession.

"I just don't want you to think that-if we win-we only won because they like me. If we win, it's because of our talent. Trust me, I ruined my relationship with them a long time ago. I doubt they even remember me," I admitted. It killed me to speak my thoughts out loud. It only made them feel more real. I had been so worried that the guys might have honestly forgotten about me. Especially Duff. He probably made it a point to forget about me as soon as possible. "Even if they remember me, Duff hates me so-"

"Why?" She demanded, catching me completely off guard. Usually she was very laid back and relaxed, and now, here she was, poking into my personal life. Just like someone else I used to know.

I bit my lip. "I had a hard time letting him in."

She stared at me intensely, almost as though she was searching my soul. Her face was suddenly made of stone as she examined me and I felt like a kid who had done something wrong.

"This is it," she said, nodding.

"Huh?"

She pulled out a pen and paper and handed it to me. "Write."

I stared down at the blank sheet of paper and the ballpoint pen. "Uh...I don't write-"

"Write," she insisted. "You'll feel better. You'll express through your music things that you never could express through mere words. And he will have to listen to you. Don't miss your chance."

I gazed at her. She was the voice of reason. She was what I had needed to really kick my ass into gear and just tell Duff how I felt. Why hadn't she been around around a year ago when I'd needed her most?

It didn't matter. She was here now and she spoke the truth, and, the truth was, I loved Duff-and now was the time to say it.