The Hawthorne Effect (BoyXBoy)

Chapter 7 - Americano.

"Well, you're fucked..." Jess reminds me.

We're talking about the trip again, seeing as it's only one week away now. The past few weeks have flown by far too quickly, and my nervous over the week of hell gets worse and worse with every day that passes. Every Media lesson just seems to be about one topic - the 5 days that everyone is looking forward to. The 5 days of minimal work and maximum fun... or maximum anxiety, in my case. Whenever I find my thoughts drifting towards the trip, I push them away and try not to think about it. Needless to say, that strategy hasn't really worked.

"It might not be as bad as you think, Dan." Sian offers with a motherly smile. I only manage to hum a noise as a response.

When the bell rings for the end of Break, the girls gather their things and head to their lesson, leaving me to live out the next two free periods alone. I get out my notepad and pencil case and decide to write my Geography essay... only to immediately start doodling on the paper in front of me the second I begin.

I don't know what I'm drawing, I'm just swooping and guiding my pen across the white sheet below me, scarring inky depressions into its soft surface. The sixth form block around me is quiet - no noise bleeding through the Common Room walls... which is far from usual. I suppose it's because I'm one of the few people who actually have these periods free.

I momentarily consider using this time wisely and going to work in the study room, but I give up on that short burst of motivation pretty quickly.

I soon get fully lost in a daydream - continuing to draw shapeless objects onto my notepad subconsciously. The daydream's of nothing, really. There's just that sense of numbness you get when you've completely zone out from reality, just letting wisps of thoughts come ago before they can be fully registered. I find myself doing that a lot these days.

Suddenly, the peace around me is disrupted by a faint knock on the door. I look up to see the person only knocked as a way of making themselves known and not as permission to enter the room - because they're already pushing the door open.

When I place who it is, I wish I had actually escaped to the study room.

"You alright, Gay Boy?" Charlie says as he fully steps through the door frame. His tone is light but there's a dusting of concern on his face.

"Not bad, you?" I smile back, hoping to convince him. He stops and closes the door behind him.

"You sure? Why are you alone?" He asks softly, knitting his brows together.

"The Girls have a lesson now so..."

"Oh..."

He's definitely not convinced.

"Can I help you with something?" I ask, trying not to cringe too hard at the awkwardness.

"I just want to make sure you're okay," He says. "You've been quiet lately..."

I sigh and press my eyes shut for a second.

"I'm fine, honestly..." I assure.

"Mmm," He hums back with an eye brown cocked. "You excited for the Media trip?"

I'm thankful for the change of subject.

"Yup," Nope. "You?"

"Yeah..."

The awkwardness is apparent to the both of us; this conversation seems forced. I suppose it's not helped by my obvious low mood and the fact that him and I have never really had many conversations before a few weeks ago. In fact, I can probably count the amount of one-on-one conversations we've had on my fingers.

"I'm driving down to the shops for a coffee and a pack of M&M's, want anything?" He smiles, breaking the silence.

"I'm fine, thank you." I return his smile before going back to doodling on my page.

"Alright then, I'll see you around." He's hesitant to leave.

"See you." I say, almost giving him permission to go... and, so, he does.

The second he closes the door behind him I release a large breath of tension that echos through the room.

Why the fuck did he come in and ask if I'm okay? Since when did he care? Does he actually care, or is this some fucked up game he's playing with me?

I tap my pen on the table repetitively to try and calm myself down. I want to run, leave, hide and not appear again until the trip has finished. This whole trip idea is getting me down and it's clear to everyone around me.

"It's only 5 days," I whisper to myself, closing my eyes again. "Only 5 days..."

5 days of hell and the trip will be over. 5 days of torture and the trip will be over.  5 days of Charlie and the trip will be over.

I know I'm perhaps being a little melodramatic, but I don't fucking care. This is a big deal for someone like me. I wouldn't like to share a room with anyone for 5 days... let alone Charlie.

After 10 minutes of trying to calm myself down, I get up and go for a walk around the site - leaving everything but my phone in the Uni Room.

I close the door behind me and weave through the corridor until I reach the double doors at the end of the sixth form block. I walk around the perimeter of the school with my hands in my pockets. The air is getting colder and colder as winter fully starts to blossom. Autumn went as fast as it came - leaving dead trees and frosty lawns in its wake. Now, we're at the change over between the two seasons, and the world is starting to look even more winter-y with every passing day.

I look up at the sky to see it's just one monotone, grey sheet of cloud that spreads for miles, blocking out any warmth the November sun may bring.  Winter may be my favourite time of the year, but I prefer to obverse it's wonders from behind my bedroom window.

I lap around all the different school blocks a couple of times before giving into cold and heading back inside.

When I walk back into the sixth form block, I check the time on my phone and see I was outside for a mere fifteen minutes and that 3rd period is only half way done. As I turn the corner and head for the Uni Room, I notice that the door I shut on the way out is now fully open.

Someone's been in there.

My pace quickens as I try to think of any valuables I might have left in there for someone to steal. Charger. Earphones. School books. Well... the latter isn't actually that valuable, if were being honest here.

I burst through the door way and into the room... only to find none of my stuff that's sprawled out on the table has been moved. Nothing has been taken... in fact, there's actually something new on the desk.

I walk over to where I was sitting to find a small vending cup of coffee sitting by my pencil case with a note underneath it.

I lift the cup up and indentify that the small bit of paper used for the note has been ripped out of my notepad - as the page I was doodling on now has a  bit of paper missing that matches up the shape of the note in my hand.

I read the note in my head and my breath hitches in my throat.

It says:

I thought I'd get you a coffee to cheer you up :)

Small Americano, right?

Hope you're feeling better soon Gay Boy!

- Charlie.

This boy will be the death of me, I swear to God.