The Hawthorne Effect (BoyXBoy)

Chapter 18: Silence & I.

TW: This chapter contains scenes of sexual harassment and non-consensual actions. Please do not read if this will affect you.

And thank you for all your cute lil comments, y'all, they literally make my day!! ♡

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SATURDAY.

Silence.

Pure, unadulterated silence.

I woke up to silence, I showered in silence, I ate my breakfast in silence.

And now, I sit on the sofa, in the sweatpants Charlie wore on the trip, sipping on a cold glass of water... in silence.

The living room around me is cold and dark. Outside, the sky is shrouded in clouds trickling out small droplets of rain. I watch as they fall onto the windows, drawing trails of water that trickle down until they loose momentum and stop.

I try to keep my mind focused on those raindrops to stop it recalling memories made last night, but it's no use. I know those memories will scar my conscious for many more hours yet today until they slowly start to fade. But, even then, I doubt they'll ever fully evaporate.

I keep thinking about what happened in that bedroom, and I'm still trying to figure shit out. It's almost like an alien side of Mason came out. He hadn't drunk anything but Lemonade all night - since he was the designated driver - so he must've been fully aware of what he was doing.

Now, in the light of soberness, I can see how serious that situation was. Had Charlie not come in, who knows what would've happened. I probably would've continued out of fear, or at least would've tried to make him cum as fast possible without him actually fucking me. But that's not the point. The point isn't that I should've fought back more, the point isn't that I should've found a way to make him cum quick - the point is he shouldn't have persisted.

And, Charlie? Well I'm not even going to start thinking about his involvement in my low mood this morning. When I remember the car argument, I cringe something chronic. First off, I told him I loved him - which has probably scared him away for life. Secondly, the fact that he told me he didn't think him dating Tamara was hurting me makes me equal parts angry and devastated. Or, did he think it was hurting me? Because he changed his story after I questioned it.

And, that's the thing. I don't know if I can trust someone who can't tell me the truth even after they've made a special effort to try and sort our problems out.

So now, as I listen to rain roaring outside the window, I'm convinced neither of the boys will ever come back - and I don't even know if that's a blessing or a curse.

As I take another sip from my glass, I realise that I'm becoming increasingly hungry with every passing thought. So I pull myself off the sofa and walk into the kitchen - my feet patting on the cold tile floor as I head for the cupboards.

I open the cupboard that I know will have the best comfort food and start to rummage through what I can find. I lay my eyes upon a packet of Doritos and reach out to grab them. But, just as I'm about to snatch them, I hear the door bell ring.

For a second I stop, thinking that my mind's playing tricks.

But then it rings again.

"Fuck my hole." I voice words for the first time today and they hang in the air like cigarette smoke.

I close the cupboards, stroll out of the kitchen and into the hallway.

As my steps bring me closer to the front door, I debate who it could be. It's either the postman, Mason or Charlie. I don't really know who I want it to be the most. If it's either of the boys, I'm in for an awkward next few minutes - but if it's the postman, he's gonna have to see me looking half dead and gross.