The Hawthorne Effect (BoyXBoy)

Chapter 35 - Two Girls and a Sissy.

Happy Wednesday, everyone! 

Here's Chapter 35... aka the chapter before THE LAST CHAPTER. 

YES, THAT IS CORRECT MY PETIT CROISSANTS. THE NEXT CHAPTER IS THE LAST ONE. 

At least, I think it will be. I have a habit of straying from my Chapter Plan, so who knows.

It feels strange knowing that this book is nearly over, but I won't gush about it now because there's a whole ass chapter below and you're not here for my waffling, you're here for that.

HOPE YOU ENJOY!

X

//

My reflexes when Charlie kisses me is always to kiss back, and for that, I curse them at this moment. The second his lips are moving against mine, they do the same. And for a brief moment, I forget the situation and just melt into him, even going as far as to steady myself by putting my hands on his chest. And because I'm so lost in the moment, I don't listen out for any gasps for jibes or whatever. I just let what happens, happen.

It's only when Charlie pulls away that the sweetness of the moment turns sour. I suddenly remember just what exactly is happening, and what this means going forward.

Charlie searches my eyes for any sign of emotion, but I'm sure all he'll determine is shock. I am completely floored by all of this, too floored to even begin to process it all.

I pull my eyes away from him to push myself to look around. Jess and Sian offer me no comfort what so ever when I look at them, they're both as shocked as I am. They sit there, faces white and mouths ajar, watching helplessly.

Charlie's cluster of friends offers a mixture of reactions. Some are confused, some are amused, some have a look of disgust, and some are overcome with joy... and by that I mean Austin is overcome with joy.

Charlie's friends' reactions are a microcosm of what the rest of the room offers. But everyone shares one reaction, shock. The only person who isn't shocked is Charlie, who just looks concerned that my reaction thus far isn't positive.

No one in the room dares to question what they've just seen, which leaves the room in a choking silence.

"Are you okay?" Charlie whispers but he might as well just have spoken that sentence normally. The quiet means that the volume he decides to talk to me it makes the words just as audible as if he spoke them normally.

Am I okay? 

Am I okay?

I'm embarrassed but not humiliated. I'm panicked but not scared. I seem to be at the crossroad of every emotion - standing right in the intersection of positive and negative. I'm a weird middle ground of numb, which probably only makes this situation worse. If I react badly everyone's gonna spin this story into something it's not. People are going to be concerned. But I can't bring myself to react well, it's not possible. I don't even know how one would react positively to this. Jump up and down and shout yay everyone knows we're faggots, yippee? Or hug him and tell him he's brave and this is how I had hoped he would tell people? Because it's really not. I pictured telling people one by one, in an easy to digest and enjoyable way. But I suppose that, with all our past history, I should've known that our secret being revealed would be cliche and dramatic.

"Dan?" Charlie pushes for an answer.

All I can do is release the breath that I've been holding for the past 30 seconds. It's shaky.