More than Life Itself (an Ed Sheeran Imagine)

Why

TRIGGER WARNING: if suicide, depression, suicidal thoughts, or cutting make you uncomfortable, scared, or sick in any way, do NOT read this chapter. You have been warned.

I woke up to my phone buzzing. Before I even sat up, I flung my arm around aimlessly in the darkness, searching for my phone on the bedside table. After I found it, I brought it up to my face and squinted my eyes. I turned it on and was immediately blinded by the bright light. I hastily swiped up to turn down the brightness. After my eyes had adjusted, I looked at my alerts:

47 missed calls from Teddy

23 messages from Teddy

"Oh my God!" I sat up quickly and shouted.

I frantically opened my messages.

Liza

I need you.

i know it's late.

please answer.

i really need you

liza please

elizabeth

help me

liza

i had a rough day

an awful day actually

so much happened

please pick up the phone

liza please answer my calls

oh love

im sorry

im so

so

sorry

ive done something

something horrible

please forgive me

i love you.

I didn't know what to think. I immediately texted back:

Ed?! What's wrong??? I'm so sorry. I fell asleep. I didn't get your messages. Please tell me what happened!

The moments after I sent the text were spent in the most deafening silence. As I waited for him to reply, I began to break out into a cold sweat. After many long minutes, my heartbeat quickened as I saw a bubble with three dots appear at the bottom of my screen.

Im coming home darling.

My mouth practically dropped to the floor. Ed was supposed to play live in Dublin in two days! What does he mean he's coming home?!

Liza: Ed what do you mean?! You're playing Dublin!

Ed: im taking a break. theres too much going on. hang on ill b there shortly.

I couldn't believe my eyes. Ed has never backed out of tour. Whatever happened was bad. Really bad.

A few hours later, there was a knock on the door. I ran, practically tripping over myself, and frantically unlocked the door. When I thrust the door open, I had to stop myself from crying. Ed's eyes were swollen and purple. His hair was sticking up in every direction. His clothes looked as if they had been worn for days. His shoes were untied, and his socks didn't match. His fingers were bleeding. His nails had been bitten down as far as they could go. He was staring off in the distance, a vacant and terrifying look in his eyes. He had definitely been crying. There was no word to describe him other than...........broken. It hurt so much to see him like this that I could feel it in my chest, the pain gnawing at my skin, tearing me apart slowly from the inside out.