TRIGGER WARNING: if suicide, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, or depression make you upset or uncomfortable in any way PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER!!! You have been warned.
Liza paced back and fourth on the first floor of Ed's flat. It was very late at night, but her thoughts were too scattered to think to look at the clock. She held her hand up to her lips and began nervously chewing on her nails. This one wasn't bad. This one wasn't a chest-clenching pain that caused her to cry out. This one wasn't hyperventilating or throwing up. This attack was just racing thoughts and a tingling feeling of anxiety. She'd had worse panic attacks. She would be alright. Maybe...
She sat down on the floor and brought her legs up to her chest before slumping down on her side. The anxiety was beginning to subside. She'd had worse. She would be all right. She'll survive this time. But....what if she didn't want to? Life was so hard. So damn hard. No one was there for her. Only Ed. And even he wasn't there most of the time with his touring. Liza walked over to the end of the hallway where a large mirror rested against the wall. She gazed at herself in the mirror and touched her stomach, her nose, her legs.
My eyes are too big. My lips are too small. I am too short. I am way too skinny. My chest is too flat. My ribs are too bulging. My stomach is too flat. I look anorexic. My legs are too long. My feet are too big. My butt is too small. My clothes don't fit me right. My hair is too thin. My nose is too big....why the hell could he love someone like me?
Liza thought these thing to herself before a single tear rolled down the side of her face. She sat on the wood floor in front of the mirror and sobbed before coming to a conclusion,
If I end my life, Ed would be completely destroyed. But he would be in less pain if I broke away from him first.
The rest of the night was spent contemplating what to do and what to say when Ed woke up in the morning. Finally, she wiped away her tears and knew exactly what to do.
AUTHORS NOTE: Heyyyyyyyy!!!!! Part 2 coming soooooonnnnnn! Yes I am aware that I haven't actually updated in like 4 or more months but hey it's the thought that counts. Ps I'm sorry Ed literally wasn't in this one at all but you (hopefully) won't be disappointed in part 2 so peeeaccce out homefries x
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More than Life Itself (an Ed Sheeran Imagine)
Fanfiction"Will you stay with me?" "Yes, of course I will stay, beautiful. And you'll stay with me." "Ed, you know I can't." "Liza please....just hold on for one more day." Copyright © @sheeriouslyeddicted0 2018
