What's she Worth to You?

Drowning

E R I N

I turn on the bath water and run my hand under it to make sure it's not too hot. I walk back into the guest room to see her sitting on the bed criss crossed looking down at a magazine that she'd picked up off the side table. I watch as her eyes dance over the pictures of celebrities and The Who wore it betters, her eyelashes bouncing as she blinks. I smile at the sight of her just sitting there, living.

"Hey," I say softly and she looks up at me with her wide green eyes.
"I ran a bath for you if you want," she nods silently and I walk over to her and help her off the bed. She shakily steps onto the ground and winces as her ankle rolls slightly. I shake my head and hold her steady.
"Maybe I should just carry you everywhere until you can walk on your own," I suggest and she nods in agreement. "Okay..." I whisper and lift her off of the ground with ease, considering she's still well under 100 pounds.

I set her down on the counter in the bathroom, her long thin legs dangling down.

"Okay, did you need me to help you?" I ask and she swallows and sighs before nodding.
"Okay," I say quietly, walking over to her slowly. I lay a hand on her shoulder and she looks up at me.
"I need you to trust me, okay?" She nods understandingly and I give her a smile. "Okay."

I take the fabric of her white cotton shirt that Will gave her at the hospital between my fingers and lift it over her head. Black and blue bruises stare back at me and I wince just thinking about how she could've gotten them. I slip her loose shorts off her legs and pick her up.

I decide to leave her in her undergarments in fear that she would feel uncomfortable and shut down. I slowly put her into the warm water, yet right as she touches it she freaks. She practically climbs up my body, latching herself onto my neck with one arm and grabbing a fist full of my shirt with her other. A variety of panicked sounds come spilling out of her mouth yet I meet them with soft shushes.

"It's alright, you're alright," I coo but she shakes her head violently. "It's okay, you're-"

"No." She spits the word out so clearly it sends a chill down my spine. I look to her with a look of surprise spread across my face and she looks away nervously.

"What are you scared of, pretty girl?" She looks back up at me and shrugs her shoulders.

"I," she starts, but never finishes. It's as if she's trying to communicate, but the voices in her head hold her back. She closes her mouth and looks down at the water. She takes a deep breath before nodding her head, I'm guessing to let me know it's okay to give it another go. I slowly lower her back into the water, and this time she doesn't stop me, yet as soon as she touches the surface she digs her fingernails into my arm, her hand shaking violently, as well as her whole body.

Her body meets the bottom of the tub and she lets out a deep breath.

"There you go," I say softly and an excited smile spreads across her face as an exhausted and scratchy laugh escapes her lips. My heart stings.

I've never heard her laugh before.

And it's at this moment that I the realization hits me like a gun shot.

I am totally
Completely
Entirely
In love with this kid

All I want to do is help her. Period. That's all that's been on my mind for that past week, and now it makes sense.