My Head or My Heart?

Chapter 10

What.. the.. fuck?!!!! 

I screamed in my head as I practically ran from his office to the elevator. I hit the button with frustration so many times until it finally showed up. I rushed inside and let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. I let my head fall back onto the elevator walls and closed my eyes. I was so frustrated with myself and the situation. I didn't know what to do. I never and I mean never got affected by anyone since I met Luca and I've met some amazing and sexy men in my day and not one has caught even a second look and here I am losing my shit over Nico.

This is not good.

This can't be happening.

This will NOT happen. 

I pulled myself together after putting it in the universe that I would push any and all thoughts from Nico that weren't in a professional capacity. I had a great life and a great guy, I won't be that girl.

FUUUUUUUCKKKKK!!!

I pulled out my work cell and called Saraj. I regulated my breathing and got my head together as it rang. I couldn't have Saraj sensing something was off with me. This shit was not something I was prepared to share with anyone as long as I lived. 

"Jaya!! Where have you been?"

"I had a meeting to attend to. It ran longer than I expected girl. What's going on? Is it a patient, because I haven't received any other pages besides yours?" I was sounding a little frantic now because if that meeting got in the way of my job. If whatever the fuck that was with Nico cost me a patient I will never forgive myself. 

"Girl calm down, no. I got a little worried when I didn't see you and so I paged you. Everyone else is busy doing rounds and haven't needed you so I'm like the only one that realized you had been gone for a bit. It's all good. You okay? You got worked up quick, that's not how you operate. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing," I sighed, "I would have just been pissed if the meeting got in the way of work. That's all."

"Your meetings are work Jaya," she said cracking up. 

This bitch here, I thought to myself as I laughed with her. She always made me laugh at the right times. "You're an idiot Saraj, but I'm stepping off the elevator now. I'll see you in a second then I have to disappear for the next delivery in an hour."

"Oh, yea I saw that on your books and before you say anything, don't." She said and then hung up on me. I'm going to kick her ass one of these days. I shook my head and made my way to the nurses station, greeting my crew along the way, making sure they were okay. 

I walked up to Saraj and smacked her on the back of the head. "What in the shit--" She said as she turned around and scowled at me. "Don't be all in my shit again." I said while laughing at her expression. She was so animated.

"Listen here, assault is a real thing. I should report you!" She replied in mock hurt. I laughed and went to make my rounds and let my patients know I would be assisting in a few deliveries throughout the night and left the number to Saraj and Rayne in my absences. They were usually my back ups. I had others replace me at times because everyone on my crew were capable and willing, which I loved and appreciated to no end. 

After my rounds I took a minute to psych myself for the next time I would see Nico. I had to get back into my usual self and take this sleigh by the reigns and direct this bitch in a different direction. I pushed the button for the elevator with a lot less enthusiasm as I did before. I waited patiently and cursed as soon as the doors opened revealing a very oblivious Nico. He had his eyes closed and looked to be doing deep breathing exercises. I got on the elevator and just stood there. I watched him take a deep breath and tense for a second. If I had not been watching him I wouldn't have caught it.