My Head or My Heart?

Chapter 32(B)

As I made my way inside the airport I looked at the flight manifest and saw her flight had just landed. I walked to the waiting area for her terminal and couldn't contain how fidgety I was so I took a seat and immediately my leg started bouncing. My nerves and thoughts were getting the best of me. So much so that I needed to see her face, hold her, kiss her lips to calm the raging seas that were my thoughts and emotions. Just having her close to me would help dissolve these insecure feelings. Anybody that looked at me would be like "really you have insecurities?" But I'm only human and when you're in love things get more complicated than just physical appearance. I know I'm a looker, I've got it my whole life, but when your heart is involved your physical appearance can't save you. Even the finest motherfucker can get their heart broken if they allow themselves to truly feel, and with Jaya I have. I got so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even see her walk up or stand in front of me. I was staring deep into empty space by the time she had appeared. I was supposed to be in a different state of mind by the time she arrived. I was supposed to be my bubbly self with a broad smile and a million kisses ready to deliver. 

"Stop chewing your nails Luca." I snapped my eyes up and saw an expression of worry mixed with curiosity on her face. I just stared at her. I was really messing up every piece of this plan. She tilted her head a little and analyzed me from head to toe. Taking in my bouncing knee, my few chewed on nails, my spaced out look, all pointing to my nerves being shot. "What's going on?" Her voice went from steady with her earlier statement to worry as she took her sunglasses off. Her face looked like she was way more concerned than she should be. I was just stuck in my head but she didn't know that. She looked at me as if I had news I was about to die or something. She started to fidget just like I had been doing earlier with distraught nerves. She shifted from foot to foot and it brought me back to earth to see her so concerned that I quickly stood and embraced her in a bone crushing hug. 

"I missed you." I said as I buried my head in her hair that smelled amazing. I felt her breathe a sigh of relief and wondered what exactly did she think I was going to say. Did I look that bad that she got unnecessarily worked up from it? I need to remember to apologize for that when I come back to my senses from finally having her in my arms. Man I missed the feel of her flush against me, her warmth warming me. Feeling her heart beat through our embrace, getting caught up in the rhythm of her breathing. God I loved this woman. 

"You had me scared there for a second Luca. You looked like you were about to lose it for a second there." She chuckled nervously. I must have really scared her because instead of using her usual term of endearment she used my name. 

"I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean to worry you," I sighed "I just got caught up in my head that's all." She pulled away and looked me dead in the eyes with her eyebrow perked up in question. She didn't have to speak I knew from her face she was trying to figure out what was going on while coaxing me to just spill the beans. 

"We'll talk about it later. Let's get you home." I said as steady as I could because my worry was turning into excitement as I kissed her temple and laced our fingers together. I grabbed her suitcase from her and lead us to the car. She had yet to wipe the look of concern off her face but she dimmed it a bit as we walked. She put her sunglasses back on with her free hand and I looked at her from my peripheral vision just admiring her beauty. Jaya was by far one of the most beautiful women I had come across in my life. I remember back in our college days people used to clown on us for being way too sexy to be a couple. Saying it just wasn't fair to the rest of the world and our babies would just be ridiculous. I chuckled as I opened her door for her and saw her raise her eyebrow again. I gave her my hundred watt smile and closed her door. I opened the trunk and placed her suitcase in then I jogged to the  driver's side and slid in. She had slid her sunglasses a little ways down her nose and was looking at me over the top of them. I looked over and blew her a kiss. Her lip twitched and a smile formed as she pushed them up and turned to look forward. I was staring at those juicy plump lips that I had been craving and cursed myself for being so ridiculous that I hadn't even kissed her. How could I not kiss my fiancee? I hadn't even asked her how her flight was, nothing. My scolding was halted by her voice.