My Head or My Heart?

Chapter 18

I kept my eyes closed, I knew that voice from anywhere.

"This better be a figment of my imagination." I said as I grabbed a towel and rubbed my eyes. Of course as I opened my eyes he was standing by the door watching me with an amused look in his eyes.

"now is that any way to treat your coworker?" His comment to his fellow doctors kept ringing in my ears at this point. I know I was being a little hypocritical but fuck it, I was tipsy and pissed.

"What the hell are you doing in here? This is the ladies room, last time I checked you definitely aren't one." I said giving him a quick up and down.

"one, this is a unisex bathroom so I can be here as much as you can. Two, I was concerned about you since I saw you stumble-"

I held a hand up, "Don't be dramatic, I didn't stumble in here, I walked. Just fine might I add."

"alright I saw you walk in here. I saw you steady yourself a little before you came in. I just wanted to make sure you're ok."

"I'm alright. Don't you think Nico, or wait, don't you guess I'm alright" I replied sarcastically as I went to the door and tried to open it. He stepped in front. I tried to wait for him to move, but he didn't.

"Jaya--."

I snorted, "Don't even. Can you move?" He didn't budge again.

He sighed, "you made a point to avoid me Jaya. I get we can't be seen like that but that was a bit overboard don't you think?"

"What, your feelings are hurt?" I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair. 

"Yea, they are, I mean it was definitely an eye opener." He stepped closer as I automatically took a step back. "Besides I know you heard what I said and I said it because for one I don't need to look as if I have an interest in you because the way these doctors talk about the nurses is disrespectful. Two, we're supposed to be 'co-workers' and nothing more." He said using quotations as he kept walking closer and closer until I was backed against the sink.

"Whatever, I now know what you think of me so I can take my 'alright' ass back out there and head home and when we get back to work we'll be just 'co-workers' okay?" I used sarcastic quotations right back. I was being petty as fuck but I just couldn't shake how his comment made me feel rejected. I was supposed to do the rejecting which wasn't working out by the way. 

"You know what I think now? Are you fucking serious right now?" All the amusement in his face had left the building and he was more serious than I have ever had the pleasure to witness and it was so sexy. 

Jaya-- earth to Jaya-- bitch you're mad! Stay on point. 

"Yea, I'm fucking serious Nico. I may have ignored you so to speak but when the nurses went on their little questionnaire rampage about you having a stick up your ass guess what I did, politely defended you. I can now see that was pointless as hell, now move!" I was beyond heated because I was right, I may have kept my distance but I never dissed him. I tried to push him away but he grabbed my waist and lifted me to sit on the sink and got in between my legs.

"Nico, get the fuck away from me. I'm over it." He kept his hold on me despite by protests.

"Jaya, I'm sorry okay. I thought I was making the right decision at the time. You know I worship the ground you walk on. I'm following your lead which isn't how I operate at all. You wanna play friends, I do it. You wanna fuck around, I do it. I get happy when I see you, butterflies like a damn teenager when you smile or touch me. I love to hear you voice, I look forward to seeing you at work and knowing we get to spend some time together and it sucks that you don't want to take this anywhere and I should be the one talking shit and walking away but where the fuck am I Jaya, huh? Here!" He pointed in between my legs and ran a shaky hand through his hair in frustration. He sounded so sincere that I just stared at him. I had no snippy reply, no shit to talk because I just couldn't say anything. I didn't trust my voice at that point.