My Head or My Heart?

Chapter 23

Ever since the talk in Nico's office, we started our official time as "coworkers". For the most part it's been about three months and it was going without a hitch. Nothing changed in the overall way we did our surgeries or addressed each other, but for me I noticed the small things. Sometimes a smile would reach his eyes when he said a joke other times that swirl of hard to read emotions would occupy it. In his office we kept our consultations to no more than 20 to 30 minutes of quick updates and brainstorming. It still got to me a little that it felt like things between us would never really be the same again.

Are you for real right now? He's giving you exactly what you asked for...after the fact and you're still salty about it? My conscience berated me. I know this is exactly what I asked for, but a part of me still can't be sad about it?

no... my conscience answered, you have no right. You lead people on & lied about it. so you gotta deal with it. Just like Nico said: you can't expect him to lie in the bed you helped make.

"yea yea yea..." I murmured leaving his office as I rode the elevator down. It dinged out announcing the Mother/Baby Floor. I stepped out and walked up to the nurses station. Saraj was at one of the computers filing reports.

"Hey girl."

"hey." I said sitting down next to her.

"you just get back from consultations with Nico?"

I held up a stack of files and thumped them down on the desk. "yup."

"how'd that go?"

I turned to the computer to start typing up some updates on patient files, "same as it's been the past three months. Short and uneventful." I said in monotone looking at the screen.

Saraj rolled her eyes as she turned to me, "well what did you expect would happen Jaya? He was gonna wait like a week and then take you back with open arms and a hard dick? Girl...you're his son's fiancee..."

I quickly turned to her, "yes...say it loud enough for the whole station to hear you Saraj."

"you know what I mean. I'm surprised he actually is still wanting to do consultations and mentor you given what happened."

I sighed, "yea me too." as I finished up one report, "but he said he didn't want what happened to effect my chance with finishing up my internship and becoming a doctor. He said I'm a great nurse and future doctor and he respects that enough to want to see it through."

I didn't hear anything from Saraj so I turned and saw her staring at me "what?"

"I'm just trying to understand."

"understand what?"

"How you have two guys with hearts of gold, good looking and give amazing sex. It's just not fair. You must've been blessed in some past life."

I rolled my eyes, "girl bye. If I was so blessed, why is it two and not one? And why do they have to be related?"

"that's what I keep asking myself all the time."

"well...what about that guy you just went on a couple of dates with? What's his name?" I asked snapping my fingers trying to remember.

"Marcus? He's ok I guess. I mean we've been on like 2 dates already."

"and?" I pressed.

"and....he's ok. I mean he's no Luca or Nico, but he's ok."

"Just ok?" I asked looking at her.

"yea just ok."

"you had sex with him didn't you?" I asked picking up another file to type.

Saraj looked at me slightly annoyed. "no...ok...we might've fooled around at his place."