Inspo for this is Please Don't Jump (It's Christmas) by Dallon Weekes (video above).
Oh hey merry Christmas eve guys
Ryan is suicidal. He doesn't spend Christmas with anyone and is extremely isolated, causing him to be left alone with his thoughts. On Christmas eve, he decides it's time to take his life by jumping. What happens when Dallon finds out?
-3rd-
Ryan's not okay.
He hasn't been okay for a long while.
A long time ago, Ryan gave in and cut for the first time to please his depression. That soon turned into cutting every week and attempting suicide so often. Ryan stopped talking to his friends, including his closest friend, Dallon Weekes. Dallon knew he was becoming distant, but didn't try to fix it until it was too late. He loved Ryan. And Ryan loved Dallon. But now, as Ryan sits on the edge of the tallest building in town, what he feels doesn't matter.
Ryan looks down, another tear falling onto his hand. He hasn't spoken to Dallon in three hours, and that's because Dallon found him walking down the street, only one of them knowing what Ryan is about to do.
"Ryan?" Dallon asks as he sees Ryan. His skin is pale, his body a lot skinnier than before, and his eyes extemely dark. He doesn't look that great.
"Hey..." Ryan says. Dallon is worried, it's obvious, yet Ryan won't believe it.
"Where have you been? Everyone's worried," Dallon asks.
"It's fine, I'll be okay. Soon, at least," Ryan says quietly. Dallon knows that Ryan doesn't get to celebrate Christmas with anyone, since all of his friends go home to their own families and everyone in his own family is gone, and he never seems like himself around holidays. Hell, he completely forgot about his own birthday this year.
"Where are you going tonight?" Dallon asks, realizing that he is heading the exact opposite direction of his apartment.
"Maybe the hospital, depends if I survive," Ryan says, walking away before Dallon can stop him.
Ryan feels his phone buzzing repeatedly, recieving a whole bunch of calls and texts. He finally uses part of the small amount of energy he has left to grab his phone from his pocket. Dallon is spamming him with texts, and he has 11 missed calls.
Dallon: Wait no
Dallon: I just realized what you said
Dallon: Fuck please tell me you're okay
Dallon: Ryan please tell me you didn't
Dallon: Please answer me
Dallon: Ryan?
Dallon: Please
Dallon: Ryan you're scaring me
Dallon: Fuck I'm on my way
Dallon: I'm here, please tell me you're okay
Dallon: You're reading these, please answer
The last text was just now sent once Dallon realized that Ryan has finally checked his phone. Ryan doesn't even have any energy to text back, so he just places his phone behind him. Suddenly, the roof doors open. Ryan doesn't move.
"Do you think they'd mind? You know, if I jumped, would I just be a body they have to take care of?" Ryan asks casually, his voice shaky and tired. Dallon opens his mouth to answer, but realizes that if he says no, Ryan will do it. If he says yes, Ryan will feel even worse.
"Please get off of there..." Dallon's shaky voice asks, tears streaming down his face. The moment he realized what Ryan said earlier, he broke down and immediately texted him.
"Why?" Ryan asks.
"Because I don't want you to die," Dallon simply answers, slowly and quietly approaching the boy on the edge.
"This will just help everyone, let them forget about me," Ryan says, another tear falling.
"I don't want to forget about you, Ryan!" Dallon says, begging for him to stop. Ryan freezes. "I want you to live happily and I want to spend my life with you and I want to make you happy, I wanna see you smile, I just... Fuck, Ryan, I fucking love you more than anything, now please just get away from the edge. We can go home and watch movies and do whatever people do for Christmas, just.... please don't jump, It's Christmas," Dallon says, whispering the last part, beginning to break down himself. Ryan slowly stands up, then turns around. Dallon slowly reaches his hands out. Ryan rushes forward, wrapping his arms around Dallon, sobbing into his shoulder. Dallon wraps his arms around Ryan tightly, gasping thankfully as they fall to the ground. His fingers grip Ryan's shirt as tightly as he can, eyes wide with fear but relief as he swallows the lump in his throat.
Dallon doesn't know what he would've done if Ryan actually did commit suicide. He never wanted to tell Ryan that he had a crush on him in fear of being rejected. But considering the circumstances, Dallon knew he had to tell him in case this was the last chance he had.
"Can... Can we go home...?" Ryan asks quietly after a few minutes. Ryan has finally stopped crying, but Dallon is still facing the thought of what almost just happened. Dallon stands, not letting go of Ryan's hands. The two leave in silence, neither speaking until they get to Dallon's house.
Dallon makes Ryan sit on his couch as Dallon makes them some hot chocolate, soon putting them on the coffee table. Dallon sits, wrapping his arm around Ryan and kissing his head.
"Thank you."
"For what? I made you worry..." Ryan asks shyly.
"For going forwards and not backwards. For living." Dallon pauses, taking a deep breath. "Because that's all I've ever wanted." Ryan looks at him, his eyes tired and slightly red. He leans forward and kisses him briefly. The kiss is short, but full of love and meaning. They pull away, noses brushing and foreheads pressed together gently.
"I love you, Dallon," Ryan says. Dallon has a sad smile.
"I love you too, Ryan," Dallon says.
Dallon loves Ryan. And Ryan loves Dallon.
And that's all Dallon could ask for on Christmas.
