Amber Liu (o.s & s.s)

Insecurities

-I feel like spamming you guys with updates tonight, you're welcome :)

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I looked at myself in the mirror again, turning to the side. I pinched at the fat that lays on top of my stomach and sighed. Then, I pinched at the fat on my arms and thighs. "I'm so disgusting" I said to myself, my eyes flooding with tears. "Why didn't my plan work last time? Goddamn it!" I said louder, pulling at my hair. "I need to calm down, Amber will be home soon." I said through my gritted teeth, breathing heavily.

"I'm already home." A voice behind me said. I turned around quickly, seeing Amber standing in the doorway, her face full of worry. I gulped and wiped at my eyes harshly. "Why do you even love me Amber, cant you see? I'm disgusting." I said, tears flowing out once again, despite my efforts at trying to hold them back. She sighed lightly and walked over to me, grabbing my arms and pinning them to my side. "Babe, you're beautiful.." She said quietly, looking down. I ripped my arms free from her grip and yelled, "Look at me! I'm fucking disgusting Amber! I'm fat and ugly, my smile is uneven, my bottom front teeth overlap, my skin is no where near clear, and I'm a whale! I don't understand how you can even stand me!" Saying this, I fell to the floor on my knees. "Goddamn it Amber, I can't even stay clean from self harm for you. You deserve better." I said quietly in between sobs.

She sat on the ground beside me and pulled me into her embrace. She started rubbing my hair and letting me cry onto her shoulder. "We all have our insecurities, but that's what makes us beautiful; our flaws. They make us unique and they make us, well, us. And I am completely in love with all of you, including your flaws." She said, pulling my face up to make my eyes meet hers. She smiled gently and wiped tears from my face and kissed my forehead. "And so what. You have scars and a little fat? I think that it's absolutely stunning. Even if your thighs and wrists are full of bad memories and your cute little eyes are red and puffy from crying. To me, you'll always be gorgeous." She added. I gave her a small smile and leaned back onto her shoulder.

She stood up, motioning me to do the same. "Sit on the bed, okay?" She asked. I obeyed and sat down. She planted a kiss on my forehead and left trails from there to my ankles. She kissed everywhere with care. Then, she made eye contact with me and said, "You're beautiful." I blushed and looked away. She chuckled and caressed my cheek, making my gaze focus on her. She leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on my lips with her sweet, soft ones. "I love you." She said against my lips. I smiled in response and pulled the back of her neck towards me, having her kiss me again.

She pushed away from my grip slightly, backing away. "I'm going to run a bath, okay? Be in there in ten." She said, smiling and heading for our bathroom.

Within these moments, taught me that no matter what, I'm worth something and that I'm absolutely perfect, just the way I am.

-and so are you. ❤️