His Hired BedWarmer (Enticed Series 1)

HHBW-16

Chapter Sixteen
The Cold Feelings

Reys

I was right all along to choose the combination of tight pink and creamy white as motif for tonight's event. Another task from Rohan I took is to be in-charge with organizing his parent's anniversary.

Halos isang linggo rin naming pinaghandaan ito. After all it's a very special party at maraming dadalo. Ayaw ko namang ipahiya si Rohan. I did my best...but I'm still worried about how will it turn out tonight.

I stood at the front. I requested a red carpet and put the pink roses along it. Ginawa kong parang aisle sa wedding para ramdam nila na parang bagong kasal pa rin sila. Rohan told me that their parent's sweetness is still there.

I found my self smiling. I never stan marriage, since I don't fully trust men always. Unang beses ko yatang matuwa sa ideya ng kasal.

Mula sa liwanag sa bukas na pintuan ay unti-unting nagpakita sa akin ang isang imahe ng lalaki. It's funny, I was just thinking of myself walking at the aisle someday and then I saw his face...

Nabaling naman ang atensyon ni Rohan nang nilapitan siya ni Melody. Nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataong umalis sa kinatatayuan ko.

Rohan and I didn't have sex for almost two weeks. Ang huli lamang ay no'ng gabing iyon. I don't know why exactly, but if Rohan don'ts ask then I won't.

He's also busy these days, I think that's one reason.

"Wow." May narinig akong boses sa likoran ko. "You did this?" Napatingin ako kay Rohan nang tumabi ito sa akin.

"I didn't do it alone," sagot ko naman habang nakatingin ako sa ibang direksyon. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels it, but things became awkward between the two of us after that night.

"You're going to be my date tonight, right?" masyado yata ako'ng nagulat sa sinabi niya. Hindi ako nakaimik at hindi ko siya matignan.

"My parents know that my girlfriend was the one who organize this party. I'll formally introduce you tonight."

"Kailangan pa ba 'yon?" napatanong ako. I don't have this confidence when it comes to this, facing someone's parents. Natatakot ako na baka magkaroon sila ng ideya sa totoong pagkatao ko-that I'm just a bar girl and it would be shameful on Rohan's part.

"That's a part of the deal, remember?" I turned to see him, he looked serious but his gaze is somewhere, luckily he can't see my tensed face.

***

Hindi ko alam kung itong gown ba na suot ko na may totoong pearls na nakatahi at kulay pearl white rin ito ang dahilan kung bakit ako sobrang kinakabahan o 'di kaya ang ingay sa loob na naririnig ko. Alam kong pag-pasok ko mamaya ro'n ay maaring maging centro rin ako ng atensyon ng iba, dahil boyfriend ko lang naman ang anak ng host ng party'ng ito.

Pinagbuksan ako ni Rohan ng pintuan, then I snapped out of it. I'm spacing out way too much. Tinanggap ko ang kamay na nilahad ni Rohan. But I can't keep my self from thinking. This is the life I always wanted, a luxurious one. I've always wanted to be on the spotlight for some reasons and wear everything I want, also...clinging into arms of someone important to me.

Pinakapit ako ni Rohan sa kanyang braso habang papasok kami sa malaking pintuan patungo sa loob.

I can't say for sure that Rohan's important to me, but he's the one who changed my life. Maybe he's more of a savior.

And I know there's an end to this so I have to find a way to keep living the way I am right now before he ends all of this.

I feel like a celebrity. I walked along the red carpet with him, getting almost all of the attention of the guests. Rohan's smiling beside me and he is really good at faking it. On the other hand, I'm anxious and uncomfortable. I can't even fake a smile.

Ilang sandali lang ang nakalipas matapos mag-umpisa ang program, hindi ko na nahagilap si Rohan. I had to assist Melody with work behind the stage. We arranged a short program for the couple. Nang magsimula nang tumugtog ang singer na na-invite naming ngayong gabi ay nakahinga ako sa gilid. It was a signal for the guests to take the dance floor.

May mga pares na pumunta sa gitna upang magsayaw, nahagip ng mga mata ko si Rohan kasama ang isang babae.

That's Nyssa. I've been hearing her name whenever Rohan talks over the phone and also, she visits him sometimes. She's quite cunning but fine lady. Napag-alaman ko ring Nanay-nanayan niya si Meryl-ang biological mother ko.

I started fealing uneasy when they started dancing. Rohan seems to be enjoying their talk. And he's holding her into her waist, I actually felt strange inside me as he touched her.

But that is none of my business.

***

Pakiramdam ko tuloy-tuloy na ang magandang daloy ng party ngayong gabi. The mini program has ended. Abala ang magulang ni Rohan na kausapin ang mga kamag-anak at ang mga kaibigan nila, I saw that as a perfect timing where at least I can relax.

The noise of the people inside suffocates me so I decided to take a look outside. Nakaligtaan kong malapit pala sa bay ang venue. It's even more peaceful here. The moon is shining brightly, even the stars, they seem delightful tonight. The bay is peaceful but the wind is quite unease just like my feelings. I've been feeling uncomfortable all this time, naisip ko talagang kailangan kong mag-relax.

Nagtungo ako sa isang fountain na hindi na gumagana, may nakapalibot kasing bench dito. From here, I could still see the wide night view at the bay.

Umupo ako at sandaling tumahimik habang hinayaan kong mangibabaw ang katahimikan sa tenga ko. Ilang sandali pa, napagtanto ko ang isang bagay.

Rohan's world is so different to mine but that is where I wanted to be, noon pa man. When I met Rohan, it felt like the gates to that world slowly opened for me and I took advantage of that.

But there is another desire that's forming inside me, I knew it this time...it was vague at first but now I am sure of it.

I guess, one of the reason why I wanted to change the way I live is to have people stay by my side. Moira was my only family and I just lost her, giving me all the reason to desire for someone who can be with me.

Rohan's a cold person but I feel warm whenever I'm with him, and I wondered how it feels to be loved by a man. I'm aware that we have nothing but mutual needs and yet my heart is like being melted by how he treats me and making me desperate to wish that maybe even in the slightest chance...we could be lovers.

Sumilay ang malapad na ngiti sa labi ko nang marinig ko ang tugtog sa venue. It's Make you feel my love by Adelle-one of the most nostalgic songs I've heard.

"I know you haven't made your mind up yet, but I will never do you wrong..."

And all of a sudden, the words I wanted to tell to him were slowly being conveyed by the song that's making me feel cold tonight. Is he somewhere feeling cold too? While listening to this song?

***