His Hired BedWarmer (Enticed Series 1)

HHBW-34

Chapter Thirty-Four
Stab Me With Your Love

Rohan

When I got into my Pad, I didn't turn off the lights when I saw figure of a woman standing in front of the windows. I could easily recognize the face because of the light from the outside that is flashing on her face.

My heart started pounding madly, is she here to confront me? I should be scared but I felt more relieved.

"How are you...?" that was the only thing I could ask while I have a lot of things I want to say but I am just suppressing it.

"Who are you, Rohan?" I thought for the second time around to walk towards her until she asked me that question. It made me question my existence too. So I decided to stay here from a distant and thought about it.

Perhaps I don't even know my entire self.

"I know you were also broken just like me. Gano'n pa man, napahanga mo ako dahil tinanggap mo ako. Tinulungan mo ulit ako'ng buoin ang sarili ko. So it is still hard for me to believe that you were the one who raped me."

My heart felt like it was crushed the moment I saw her cried. Sa una palang bakit ko nga ba siya kinuha?

I saw her crying, and the look in her eyes is hopeless, just like the first time I lost myself. The feeling of constantly sinking without anyone there to save you is the worst feeling I had.

Maybe I was able to see for a fleeting time, I was able to see a mirage of my self to her that gave me the urge to save her from drowning.

But I guess, this became my punishment for the sin I tried to forget. Still, it isn't so bad because I was also saved...by her warmth...by her heart.

"I'm always jealous of how the the people around me grow while I am always stuck in reverse..." my voice became hoarse all of a sudden.

"Then I stopped begging for all the things that I want."

Kusang naglakad ang mga paa ko palapit sa kanya, but it wasn't enough for me to have the guts to walk close enough to touch her face.

"A love came into life. It was so beautiful. Parang nagsimulang umikot ulit ang mundo nang matuto ako'ng magmahal at maranasan kong mahalin din ako pero sa isang iglap, nawala ito. Tumigil ulit sa pag-ikot ang mundo ko."

Napasinghap ako, pero hindi sapat upang ibsan ang bigat ng damdamin ko.

"I was blinded by my rage. I wanted to take back what's mine. And you were the collateral damage for that."

She turned her back once again, I heard her sobs getting louder. Napayuko siya sa mga tuhod niya at doon siya nagsimulang humagulgol nang malakas. It was the sound that covered my entire house. Her hatred and the pain of getting tangled with me.

I let her cry loud for a moment. I didn't missed any single sound of her cry though it was slowly killing me inside.

I am the reason behind the burden she's carrying for a long time.

"You know what's hurting me?" she stood up. "I can't even hate you...Ikaw na sumira sa buhay ko, ni hindi kita kayang kamuhian."

"...kasi mahal kita, pinangarap kita kahit imposible," lumingon siya sa akin at tinuro niya ako. Gano'n na lang nabalot ang mga mata niya sa luhang patuloy pa rin sa pagdaloy.

"Me too..." I bit my lower lip as the tear that I tried hard to keep started falling too.

"I am sinful...but I love you..."

She shook her head as she closed her eyes... This is a painful night for both of us...

***

"Why are you staring at her?" Nagulat ako nang magsalita 'yong Barista. He just finished making my drink.

Naabala yata ako sa pagtitig sa isang babaeng kasalukuyang nagpo-pole dancing.

"This is my second favorite bar since she sat beside me..." I chuckled as I sip into my drink.

"Did she seduce you? She's good at it..." Nakangising saad naman niya.

"I don't think it was seducing..." I said. Ngayon ay may kausap siyang ilang lalaki sa isang table at mukhang masaya ang usapan nila.

"What do you think it was?" He asked.

"I think she was asking for a help...I don't know why but I seemed to see this as my advantage too." Nilagok ko ang drink na ginawa niya. I slide my glass into him, he caught it.

"Ibibigay mo ba?" napatanong naman siya habang sinisumulan niyang gumawa ulit nung shots ko.

"I need help too. Maybe she can drag me out too."

I'm starting to get amused. Hindi ko naman kilala ang bartender na ito pero habang nag-uusap kami ay nararamdaman kong hindi naman nalalayo ang nararamdaman niya sa akin. I don't know why I could perceived easily those people just like me...

"I don't know, but if this is a game then I won't know until I try."

"Don't play with love," he smiled but his voice came out with a warning. "You won't like it if it will play back."

"Mapaglaro ang tadhana pagdating sa pag-ibig..." nilagay nito ang sliced lemon sa aking drink at nilapit ito sa tapat ko.

"But this game that you are trying to play..." he leaned to get closer to me. "It stings..."

***