Hopes

45: What you say hurts // --

(not directed to anyone, and this is the thoughts of a random person)

Do you realise what you say hurts? Can you not tell that although I put on a smile I am actually crying inside? You don't see it because you don't care. You don't care about my feelings, you don't care about me. You just care about yourself, and what benefits you.

Did you know that when you said you would be my friend I was overjoyed? You probably couldn't tell. But now it just makes me want to kill myself. You lied to me. You lied about staying by my side. You said you wouldn't leave but you did anyway.

Do you remember when you didn't invite me to your little party? I was so sad. I questioned why I was still your friend but I decided to trust you. What did I get? Nothing. I shouldn't have believed you would come back. You should know that when you visited me asking for apologies I would not forgive you.

Then why did you still text me? Why do you still talk to me when you see me? I didn't want to see your dumb text, or hear your voice. Don't try to comfort me because its all lies.

When you brought friends to come and console me, don't tell me we were still friends. I never agreed to that. You guys were all talking about the good times we have, but all I remember are bad times. I shouldn't have trusted any of you.

Stop calling my phone or texting me. Just seeing your name sickens me. You tell me you're sorry for everything, but I am still angry. Don't say you didn't do anything, you existed in my life. Stop saying I get mad at nothing at all because you don't know what I think.

When I don't want to talk to you it means I don't want to. Get that in your head. Why can't you spare a thought for how I feel. Don't tell me you understand what it's like, that's what everyone says. Don't try to include me in anything, I wouldn't want to join.

Why did you exclude me? Let me watch you all have fun together while I had to sit at a corner alone, looking upon the friendship I could never achieve? You guys were never my friends. You were never my friend.

You came to me and tried to make me happy. It sucks you don't know what I like. You should have just left the first time I told you to. Don't resist to try to get close to me, it wouldn't work. Just like that you left when I told you to, and did not turn back. You don't care about me at all. You know it hurts right?

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A/N: lol if you are confused think about isit narrator or "you" who is at fault. If you aren't confused then... you either get it or you are just reading off the surface

02-10-17