Sincerely Me

Growing Pains

Let him go.
Others assured me that it was smart.
That it was right.
That I was being dumb.
That my heart was naive.

I let him go.
I began to grow.
To see myself become a new person.
To see myself change physically and mentally.
I became happy for a second.
Quickly realizing my walls were built.

I was growing but behind the curtain I was in pain.
The man I love I treated so poorly.

He went to the gym and looked amazing.
I tore him down.
He changed his hair and looked charming.
I tore him down.
His green eyes glistened in the sun.
I tore him down.
He played sweet melodies.
I tore him down again.

He complimented me.
I didn't believe him.
He adored me.
I didn't believe him.
He loved my imperfections.
I didn't believe him.

And I lost him.

Everyone tells me how proud they are of who I am becoming.
How independent I am.
These are growing pains.
Learning with late night thoughts, how horrible you treated the one you are suppose to love the most.

My advice, don't hate yourself so much you take it out on the one you love.
They may leave one day and never look back.
They may find someone knew, and you have to be happy for them.
That's what pain in growing is.
I've grown to the point that I understand my wrong was just as bad as his.
In the end my negativity made him leave.
Now I'm alone.