Sincerely Me

Oxygen

Now we move forward another year.
I still look for you in everyone I meet.
Not really ready to move on.
The way your grin used to form when you looked at me.
Your eyes would squint when I would tell you something funny.
I would listen to your heartbeat at night to help me sleep.
You held me through the roughest of times.
All the memories came back to me day by day.
Fond memories created a painting of how it could be.

During that year, I took the time needed to find myself.
I built myself up to love again.
Time to me wasn't important.
For a year seemed like a short sacrifice to treat someone to a lifetime.
Today, I was ready to get back out there.
But honestly all I wanted was you.
I began to fall all over again for the same man.
Or maybe, finding who I am made me realize what I had.

I wanted you.
You are what I consider my definition of desire.
I never knew what trying to breathe underwater felt like.
Until now... And drowning is painful let me tell you.
The only thing that brought me back to life seemed to be you...
That crooked smile, those charming eyes, strong hands, comforting heartbeat.. you became my oxygen tank.
The only issue with that was someone else needed my oxygen mask.
I came too late.
So for now, I'm having to say goodbye.
I suppose this is how it feels to take on the waves and not care what beach you wash up on.