The weight of a loss

Chapter 2

That was only 2 hours later when the doctor finally came out of surgery and entered in the waiting room.

- "Hi, I'm doctor Adamson." He said while shaking Rick's hand.

- "How's my wife? My baby?"

- "Your wife is out of surgery, she will be fine" he started.

- "And my baby?" asked Rick. But he already knows the answer. He saw it in the doctor's eyes. "Where is she? I need to see her! Now!"

- "I'm so sorry sir, we did everything we could but your baby was already dead when you arrived... I'll take you to your wife's room".

Rick turned to face Martha and Jim, he was lost. What will he do. They had already started doing the baby's room. And... God, Kate... She will­ be so destroy.

- "Go see her, we will wait here" said Jim in chock

Dr Adamson led him to Kate's room.

- "She's still under drugs so she might be a little lost. I will come back later."

Rick took a deep breath, wiped away his tears and entered in the room. Kate was sleeping. He kissed her in the forehead and sat in the chair.

- "Hey" he said when she opened her eyes, while he took her hand in his.

- "Rick... The baby..." she said putting her hands on her belly.

Rick looked down. He couldn't tell her that she lost their baby. But she understood anyway. She knows how to read in his eyes. She started to sob.

- "Nooo... That can't be true!!" she yelled

- "I'm sorry honey. They tried everything they could" he said taking her in his arms

But she started to struggle against him.

- "No, you're lying! I don't believe you!!!" she was now smashing down Rick's chest. "It's not true!!"

He grabbed her harder, sat next to her in the bed and started to rock her against him. He had never seen her like that. Except for her mother's murdered. He had tears in his eyes but he wasn't crying. He had to be strong. Strong for her, strong for both of them. Kate will need help and he couldn't break down.

- "Shh, shh. It's ok. We will go through this. Life sucks but we will go through this shit"

She finaly calmed down but she was still crying. She couldn't believe what had just happened. It was her fault. She shouldn't work as hard as she did.

- "Oh god... Rick... It's my fault. I should have listened to you and stopped working hard..."

- "No babe. It's not your fault. Don't say that!" he said, kissing his forehead.

She was about to argue when her father and Martha came in the room, followed by Dr Adamson.

- "Hi Mrs Castle. How are you feeling?" the doctor asked. But she didn't need to answer, he already knew it.

- "Can you tell us what happened, doctor?" Martha asked.

- "First I have to tell you, Mrs Castle, this is certainly not your fault and you couldn't have done anything against that. The baby was under too much pressure. It happens sometimes..." explained Dr Adamson.

- "You're trying to make me believe that it isn't my fault?!" Kate cut him "but I know I worked too hard!"

- "I hear you. But it's not this kind of pressure. Let me explain you." He said while sitting in the chair next to her bed. "There are 2 kind of pressure. The one you're speaking about, that comes with too much work, too much stress. And there is the one that comes from your body. You can be as relaxed as someone can be, but your body is under pressure. Your body wasn't ready to carry a baby. Do you understand me?"

Kate nodded, even if it didn't remove her guilty.

- "Are you saying she's too young?" asked Rick

- "No, there is no relation with age. Actually we don't know why this kind of issue happens. We saw many women losing their babies because of it".

Hearing the word baby, Kate started to cry again. Jim came next to her and she rested her head against him.

- "It doesn't mean that you can't have a baby in the next months. But if that happens you'll have to see your doctor more often and maybe take some pills. I will let you now, but I'll come back to check on you later. You should get some rest now."

- "Thank you doctor" said Martha.

- "Call me if you need anything." Said the doctor while he left the room.

- "I don't want another baby." Said Kate starting to sob in her dad's arms.

- "Shh, shh, baby. It's ok. You don't have to think about it now. Just get some rest." Said Jim rocking his broken daughter.

They stayed like that for what seems hours. It was almost 12 am, Kate finally fell asleep in Rick's arms. Rick was as tired as someone could be. He was awake since 3 am and he couldn't sleep.

Martha and Jim left to get some food. When they came back, they try to feed Rick but he wasn't hungry. He couldn't eat anything. He couldn't do anything except rocking Kate in his arms.

- "Darling you need to go home, you need to take a shower and to get some rest." Said Martha.

- "No, I don't want to leave her." He answered.

- "Rick, you're still in your pjs. You can't stay here like that. You should see your face in a mirror. Just go home and at least take a shower. We can come back in an hour or 2. She's sleeping, she won't notice it"

- "I will stay with her" said Jim "Don't worry, she's fine now"

Rick nodded and gave his place in the bed to Jim.