The weight of a loss

Chapter 8

The next morning Kate woke up with a really bad headache. She looked for Rick but he wasn't in the bed.

She got up but felt a wave of nausea and ran to the bathroom. She made it in time and when she was done she sat down on the floor. She stayed like that for a few minutes and then walked to the living room to find Rick.

But he wasn't there, nobody was there, she was alone. She dialed his phone number but he didn't answer. She tried again and left a message.

- "Rick, where are you? Please call me ASAP"

She felt sick again and walked back to the bathroom.

Rick was about to enter in the building when he heard his phone ring. He took it out of his pocket and saw that it was Kate. He put it back and walked in. He arrived at the 3rd floor and knocked on the door. A woman opened it.

- "Hello, come on in" she said

He walked into the apartment and followed the woman. She led him to a room and invited him to sit on the sofa.

- "So Mr Castle, what brings you here?" she asked, seating in a warm chair in front of him.

- "You can call me Rick. And hmm. My wife had a miscarriage."

- "Ok. Can you tell me more about it please?"

- "Yes, hmm. It was 3 weeks ago. She was 5 months pregnant. The doctor said her body wasn't ready to care a baby, too much pressure, something like that. I didn't understand all but I don't care. My wife is falling into depression and I can't do anything for her."

- "And you? How are you feeling about that?" she asked

- "I don't even know. I didn't get a minute for myself since she lost the baby. Every time I leave she starts to cry. I left her yesterday afternoon because I had to go to a book signing and when I came back she was drunk and said bad things to me."

- "What did she say?"

- "I don't even remember. I wasn't paying attention to what she was saying." He said looking down

- "I'm sure you remember what she said. If you weren't it wouldn't hurt you like that."

- "She said that she's the one that lost the baby. As if I didn't took part in this, as if I wasn't the dad and I couldn't understand what she's going through."

- "Have you told her that?"

- "Sort of. We were arguing. I left after that."

- "You should speak with her. You are both going through it."

- "Every time I try she runs away."

- "She will have to face it one day, she should see a psychologist. I can give you the address of one of my colleague who is really good"

- "Yes thank you. I doubt she will go though"

- "You'll see."

He nodded.

- "She doesn't even know that I'm here..." he said sadly

- "Are you afraid to tell her?"

- "I don't know. We had a fight yesterday and I left this morning without telling her."

- "Are you going to tell her?"

- "Maybe."

- "Ok. I'm sorry Mr Castle but we have to stop for today. Do you want to take an appointment for next week?"

- "Ok."

- "Same day, same hour?"

He nodded. She led him to the door and shook his hand.

- "Thank you, Dr Clay."

- "You're welcome, and call me Annabelle."

He nodded and left. He felt lighter, relieved. He finally had someone to talk to. But as soon as he listened the 3 messages left by Kate this weight was there again. He knew Kate would be angry because he didn't tell her he was going out. "Come on" he thought "After what she did yesterday!" But he was right, when he arrived in the loft he had just time to open the door when Kate walked to him angry.

- "Where did you go?" she yelled

- "Well hello to you too!"

- "Yeah, whatever. Why didn't you answer your fucking phone?"

- "Can you please stop assaulting me like that?!"

- "Whaat? Excuse me, but you're the one that left the loft without saying a word!"

- "Oh yeah, and as you said you're in this alone, because it was YOUR baby, not MINE!!" he said walking away

- "Oh come on! You're still on this fight?!" she said following him

- "Hell yes I am! Your words were hard, you hurt me!"

- "Poor little boy!"

- "Do you even remember what you told me yesterday, when you were drunk?"

- "What are you talking about?"

- "Nothing!" he said and left the loft.