Knull Meg Hardt, Pappa

Hjertekenuser

Thank god it's frieday so I can sit back and cry.

"Hey...daddy?"
"Yes, Alfred?"
"Why do we have Christmas?"
"It's Jesus's birthday."
"What should I get him?"
Arthur looked at his eldest son, sitting on top of his middle son, squishing him into the ceramic tile of the kitchen floor. "You could be nice to your brother." He suggested.
"I'll get him a nice hat."
"Al! Get off me!" Matthew whined.
"Not until I fart."
"You don't need to faaaaaart."
"Alfred, get off your brother." Arthur scolded, looking back at the cookbook. "What the bloody hell is basting?"
"It's when you take a bath." Alfred explained.
"No, Al!" Matthew objected, now free from his brother's ass on his head. "That's bathing."
"I know what I said."
"Bath time! Bath time!" Peter clapped.
"No, Peter. It's not bath time." Arthur reached over and tapped the child's head softly. The toddler sure liked water.
"Dad?"
"Yes, Alfred?" Arthur turned back to the cookbook, trying to decode it. Was this in French or something?
"What are you getting me for Christmas?"
"A smack on the arse."
"Daddy! Language!"
"Sorry. Alfred's still getting a smack, though."
"Awe! Dad!" Alfred whined.
"Awe nothing. Go get my phone so I can google something."
"Old people don't use google! They use bing!" Matthew insisted.
"Matthew I am seriously considering shipping you both off to Guam. Don't test me."
"What about Peter? Why does he get to stay."
"Because he hasn't gotten annoying yet."
"I'm not annoying, daddy!" Matthew insisted.
"I am." Alfred smirked.
"What's in Guam? Is that a prison?"
"No. Get my phone."
"I accidentally dropped it into the couch when I was playing games on it." Alfred admitted.
"Was it still on when you dropped it?"
"Yeah."
"So it's probably dead now."
"Probably."
"Damn." Arthur sighed. "Go get it."
"I have little arms."
"Matthew, I need my phone."
"What do you need to google? I probably know it."
"You're six."
"Yeah. But I'm smart."
"I'm just trying to figure out how to make turkey."
"That's easy! Papa let me help him all the time." Matthew wandered up to the kitchen counter, reaching up toward the cookbook. He eventually got it into his hands and started reading it carefully.
"I'm still going to need my phone. Just saying." Arthur muttered.
"I'll get it!" Alfred volunteered.
"Good boy. I know you're just looking for Christmas brownie points but I appreciate it." Arthur said as Alfred ran off.
"Dad...why can't you cook?" Matthew asked.
"I never really took to it."
"How did you make food before you met papa?"
"I just boiled everything."
"You can't boil a turkey, dad."
"I didn't eat turkey."
"You're crazy. Turkey is amazing."
"It is pretty good."
"Dad! I got your phone!" Alfred announced.
"Good lad. Now go plug it in."
"I will when after I give you a list of things I want Santa to bring me."
"Alfred," Arthur said sternly.
"Fine." Alfred pouted, running off. Matthew laughed softly at his older sibling.
"Dad, I love you." He said softly.
"Are you just looking for Christmas brownie points too? Because Santa doesn't like suck ups."
"I don't care aboot Santa. I care aboot you."
This kid had a big storm coming when he figured out they were the same person.
"Well, thank you." Arthur pet the child on the head. "I love you guys too."