50 Shades Without You

Chapter 21

Ella's P.O.V

I rushed through the club eventually finding Nate and Sam. "Take me home" I begged, tears streaming down my face. "What happened?" Sam looked closely at me with worried eyes. "Please guys" I gulp for air. "Yeah, lets go" Nate nods and pulls me through since I can't see with the tears in my eyes. We get outside and I finally feel like I can breathe. They rush me into the car and Nate says "So he told you about Vanessa and his doubts about the wedding? I'm really so-" 

"His doubts?" I felt my tempature rise. "Oh uh yeah, thats what we had been talking about. He wasn't sure he wanted to get married anymore." Nate rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. I looked down. I guess I get it. I closed my eyes and hoped we were home already. God I can't do this right now. Sammy shook my shoulder and whispered "Were here Ell"

I got out and rushed inside. But the whole house smelled like us. I felt like I was going crazy, thinking about the last few years. This can't be the thing that breaks us, we were so close to being in the clear. My heart was beating rapidly and my whole body felt like it was on fire. "Ell, go get in comfy clothes and come back down, we'll talk" Sammy brushed me up the stairs. I mindlessly threw on sweats and a t-shirt, wiping the stained makeup off my face. This is officially the worst birthday of all time.

Sam sat up as I walked down and patted the spot next to him. "Nate left, to get Tasha" Sam says. I just nod. "Ella do you remember when you and Jack first started dating again and I made you promise if he ever hurt you again you wouldn't go back to him?" Sam pulled me close and let me lay my head on his chest. "Yeah" I said, tears breaking out again. "Ignore that" He says with a sigh. "I know you guys make eachother happy, this won't be the thing that stops it. It may seem big, and it may be, but Jack loves you. You love him" Sam hugged me tightly. 

"He was seriously thinking we wouldn't get married, Sammy" I cried. "We just talked about it too, how happy we were" I hiccupped. "I know, I know" He said soothingly. "We're here!" Natasha yelled as she ran in, assuming she had been filled in in the car. Following her was Shawn, Nate, Johnson, Ceilia, and Stass. Natasha fell onto the couch, hugging my other side. "I hate how this isn't even new" Johnson mumbled, more to himself, but I still heard. 

Shawn seemed confused but came and sat down infront of the couch, facing me. "Please don't let this make you so upset, its gonna be okay" He said, holding my hands in his. I pulled one away to wipe my tears, trying to take deep breaths. This was just such a wake up call. "Yeah" I finally sniff out. Nate joins Tasha on the right side of the couch and turns on netflix. Johnson and Ceilia sit on Sammy's side and Stass sits on the floor by Shawn. Shawn continues holding my hand even when we start watching a movie and hes turned around. I'm lucky to have good friends.

"Do you guys know where he is" I ask, mid way through Nightmare Before Christmas. "Last time I checked he was shooing everyone out of the club" Johnson said. "I'll be back" I say and get up, wiping my tears. "Hey take my car" Sam throws his keys at me. "Thanks Sam" I half smile. "Lemme go with you, just in case" Shawn stands up. "No, no it's okay" I turn to walk out but Shawn follows. "It's fine. I'll just stay in the car" He says. Its like he knew I was thinking 'that'll just make Jack angrier, me walking in with shawn'.

I skid out of the car when we get there, the front doors locked so I try the back door. It opens and I go into the pitch darkness. "Who is it, the parties over" Jack says, through tears. "Jack" I say quietly. "Ella?" His head jumps up from the bar and he looks over. "Ell, I'm so sorry" He falls out of the chair and I know he's drunk. "Jack stop" I run over and get him into a chair with a back. I pour him some water and hand him the glass. He drinks it eagerly. 

After a minute I ask, even though I know the answser, "You were having doubts?". His face says it all. "Baby, I'm sorry, I didn't know what to think. You're not your sister, you're gonna be my wife. If you want to be" He says the last part a bit lower. "Why do we always do this" I whisper sadly and let my head fall into both my hands as I sit across from him. "This is the last time. Were gonna make this work. I'm so so so so in love with you Ella. Can we move on? I know you love me too" Jack scoots forward, placing one hand on my knee. 

Chills run down my spine. I look up and Jack's eyes are locked on me. My throat goes dry. "Jack" I croak sadly. "Babygirl, I'm begging you" His eyes pleading as he grabs my hands gently. "Okay, l-lets forget it" I sigh.  He pulls me in, wrapping his arms around me. "I'm sorry I ruined your birthday" He mumbles into my hair as we hug. "I'm sorry I made you think I liked Shawn" I whispered. "Ell, I never thought that. I was just scared he'd like you because god, who wouldn't?" He said, not letting go.

"Hey, whos sweatshirt is this?" He asks as we get up. "Sams. He let me borrow it" I say. "Oh okay" He nods. I know he was a bit jealous but he didn't say anything. "Let me tell Shawn its okay to go. He drove me here since I was- emotional" I open the door. "Yeah, um I'll stay here" He stands by the door as it shuts us into the night. I run quickly to the car. 

"Thank you, Shawn, we worked- we're working on it. Just thank you for everything" I hug him through the car window. "Anytime Ella. Be careful please" He hugs me back. I wave him off and turn back to Jack. His hand are stuffed in his pockets and I knew he was trying to be good, keep his cool. "Gilinsky?" I walked closer and set my hand holding his jaw. "Yes?" He looks up a little. "I love you, more than anything" I say and kiss him sweetly. "I love you too" He says and smiles a little as we pull back. 

"Lets go for a drive" He interlocks our hands as we walk to the car. My mind was still racing but I know what I want. Jack, I want Jack. I kissed his hand repeatedly as we drove, still locked together. "You're cute" He chuckled. Music softly but loudly playing, the windows down, speeding through LA. "You know whats crazy? We're getting married" I say. "Thank god" He replies. "Where was Mads tonight?" I ask, thinking back to all the people at the club. "She wanted to come but with music and stuff she couldn't, she wished you happy birthday though" Jack mentions. 

We eventually end up at the beach. It was cold but I still had on Sammy's jacket. The waves were rapidly hitting the shore and it made a pretty sound. I could never leave California. We sat on the sand, wrapped up in eachother for hours. I didn't realize what time it was until the sun starting peaking over the water and the early surfers started to arrive. "Jack, baby, we should go" I started to stretch my legs. When we get back to the house Shawn, Sam, and Stass were asleep in the living room. "Wake up guys" I whisper and shake each of them lightly. "Hm? Oh you guys are back" Shawn sat up with a raspy morning voice, which honestly, was amazing. 

Stass and Sam woke up about the same time. "I should go" Shawn yawns. "Thank you, for everything" I hug him once more quickly before he leaves. "Wait are you guys just getting home?" Sammy sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Yeah" I nod. No one questions anything else. Sam and Stassie stay a bit longer but leave after we all have some coffee. I thank them both for being there for me and give Sammy his jacket. 

Jack and I shower and get in bed as fast as possible. We were both so tired but much happier than last night. I was suddenly reminded that Jack loved my sister before me. And I couldn't change that. But he was marrying me, not her. "Lets never talk about this birthday with the kids" Jack says and gives me a sleepy grin, holding me closely as he fell asleep. I smiled at the thought of Jack and I having kids. I fumbled with my ring for a moment before I fell asleep too.

(( WHAT DOES THE TAG ON A PRESENT TO YOUR EYE MAKEUP SAY? FORESHADOW)))