50 Shades Without You

Chapter 29

Sabrina's P.O.V

At about a year after Ella's death I decided it would be safe to set up a twitter account and just not post things. I regret that a lot. The first person's profile I opened was Jack's of course. My stomach filled with the "go back, go back, GO BACK" feeling. The first picture was Jack and Nate saying 'the man'. Normal Jack. The second picture I saw was him and a girl. They were laughing as the sun set behind them. I miss California sunsets. She was pretty, prettier than me. She had light hair- almost blonde, bright green eyes, a small but curvy body. I didn't even wanna see what he had to say about her. But curiousity got the best of me.

"A pretty sunset & a pretty girl"

Another picture of them. They were all cuddled up, it seemed like some big bonfire thing. You could see Sammy in the back, talking. Jack's arm was effortlessly around her and she was smiling big. He was happy and it'd only been a year. I wasn't mad. Yeah, I was mad. I scrolled through his twitter and it seemed they had been together for a few months. Nate and Tasha were married and I had missed it. My best friend's wedding. Everyone was doing perfectly well. Great, even. 

As soon as I closed my phone Alice came in. "Hey, we're going out tonight" Alice smiled. "Oh- I shouldn't, the baby-" I shook my head. "Joe can watch Olivia" Alice interupted. "She's only a few months old, Alice" I shook my head. I forgot to talk about my daughter, Olivia.

*flashback*

I get home from work and tiredly slump into bed. As I'm falling asleep I feel  a popping.. inside of me? It hits when I feel  a liquid. I get up and call  Alice. Alice is here almost immidiately. The contractions are slowly get worse but we get to a hospital in a reasonable amount of  time. They give me a whole shit load of drugs and I really don't remember much other than the doctor announcing it was a girl. So, Olivia Natasha Gilinsky was born. 

The first time I saw her was like seeing Jack for the first time all over again. She had dark black wispy hair, brown eyes, all new and him. I couldn't believe it, the little bean I had carried for months was finally here. She was healthy and I cried. I cried hard. Everyone thought it was because I was happy to finally have my daughter. It was really because that little Gilinsky was mine and his. And she'd never know the amazing man that was her father.

*flashback over*

I ignored Alice's begging. "I don't need to go out" I crossed my arms. "Yes, I'm your only friend here" She argued. "I don't need friends" I told her and walked into the kitchen. She followed. "Please. Olivia will be fine. Estelle wants to help watch her." She smiled and pulled on my arm like a child. Estelle was her 6 year old. She was sweet, looked a lot like her dad. "I'm sorry, I just don't feel like socializing. Maybe next weekend" I told her. She gave up and left. 

Olivia started crying not long after. "Hey, hey, shh. It's okay, your momma is here" I smiled, taking her out of her crib. I rocked her until she hushed. "God, I love you" I whispered. Her big eyes stared back at me. I fed her and changed her. Soon enough she was back to sleep. She was a pretty easy baby. She just slept a lot. Like me. She was only two ish months. She had some of my features. I guess you can't tell at such a young age.

Anyway, Alice's begging continued until I agreed to go with her to an art gallery on one of my days off. I woke up, tired from getting up to care for Olivia. Did all my usual stuff. I slid on a gray spagetti strap dress that hugged down right before my knee, a jean jacket that was big and about as long as the dress, black booties, and shoved my hair into a messy bun. Once my makeup was done I woke Olivia up and met Alice and Joe outside. "We won't be long, I swear" I told Joe. "C'mon, c'mon" Alice pulled me into her car as Joe got Olivia set up in his. I trusted him since he was a dad. 

"You need some time out, even if it is just with me and Harrison" She said. "You invited someone" I groaned. "He's nice I swear. Friends with Lillian, you remember Lillian? The one who seems like she'd be really dumb but is only sorta dumb" Alice explains as we leave. "Yeah, yeah. All your friends are too nice" I roll my eyes. "You're just too mean" 

"At least don't leave me alone with him, you know I can't hold a conversation" I glare at her as we arrive. "Yes, I know, Sabrina" She chuckles and we finally go inside. "Harrison!" Alice smiles and motions him over. "Hey, how are you?" He asks Alice. She introduces me. The first thing I notice is his height. He's a giant. "Sabrina, that's a pretty name" He smiled. "Thanks" I smile back, politely. "So shall we look at some art" Alice lead the way. "Woah, wait, this ones..." I stopped to really look at it. It was an oil painting of a girl and a guy sitting on a bench. What really drew me to it was the people.

They looked like Ella and Jack. "Oh yeah, Quinn Buharvey, she just sits and watches people and paints them. Shes really captures the... feeling, happiness" Harrison stands next to me. I look at the date it was painted. I could be crazy but it matched up with Jack and I's visit. It was us. "Yeah, she does" I fianlly say and turn away from it. "We should keep going" I say and walk on. "Hey, you're famous" She nudges me. I just nod. 

"So, Sabrina, you have a daughter?" Harrison asks. "Yeah. Her names Olivia" I glance around the gallery. "Wheres her father, if I may ask?" I can feel Alice and his stare burning into my head. "Um he died before she was born" I tell him. "Oh wow I'm sorry" His eyebrows scrunch up. "Yeah" I just say and stop to look at a painting. "That one!" Alice spins around and points to a painting across the room. I turn and look at it. It was really nice. I glance back to Alice and a look of panic is spread on her face. I look back but don't see anything weird about the painting. I shrug.

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