50 Shades Without You

Chapter 33

Sabrina's P.O.V

The next few months I took it quite easy. I knew I'd be back with everyone soon so I decided to just live for awhile. I hung out with Harrison and Alice and my new friend, Silvia. She worked in the cafe and we usually just sat there and drank coffee, talked, and wrote in silence. Harrison and I mostly took photos around the city. I knew no one but him could ever ever see them, but I still liked the memories. One night Harrison and I were walking over a bridge, it was night and we were coming home from a party. The lights from the city looked so pretty so I perched myself on the edge and he took a beautiful, off guard picture. It was probably my favorite picture he ever took of me. It was in the moment.

At the party mentioned above came some of my other favorite pictures. I took one of Harrison. He was laughing and had one arm over his friend, Victor, the other arm had a giant giraffe in it. I liked that it was candid and them in the most them way. Or the picture of this girl Stephanie, Victor, and I. We were singing 'Tounge Tied' at the top of our lungs from our seats at this table. You'd never know unless you were there. 

You probably think I'm a bad mother. But most of the time Olivia was with me except the few times I went out at night. And even then I didn't drink or anything. I probably wasn't even ready for mothering. I love her with my whole heart though. One night I was talking to Sammy on facetime and breast feeding her at the same time. Sammy didn't care, nothing he hadn't seen. 

Anyway, she was eating and I was asking Sammy about Johnson and Gilinsky's music and his music. Sammy started playing a sample of the Jack's song as I finished feeding her. I was holding her when a little smile started to form. I know it probably had nothing to do with Jack but I like to think it did. I burped her as a few tears fell. "You miss him, don't you?" Sammy said sadly. "Of course" I smiled slightly. I don't want to hurt him more than I have. And if I brought him into my life again I probably would. So, no, Jack wouldn't be in my life unless he wanted to be. 

The last week I spent mostly with Alice and her family. I couldn't thank them enough for their help. Alice's daughter told me she'd miss Olivia because "she is so.. smaller than me". I just laughed and said we'd visit. The last night I was there we decided all the friends I had made would come over for dinner. So, Alice, her husband Joe, Harrison, Silvia, and Victor. Silvia came over early to help me set up and make food. "Why do you have to go back to America again?" She asked. "I go where the story calls" I smile. While here I started writing a lot. Basically stories that came from my life but with different names. 

"There's plenty of story here" She complained. "I'll visit, I promise" I reminded her. She stirred the soup and shook her head. "Plus, you have my number" I told her. "Time difference" She raised an eyebrow. "I'm up all the time, I'm a mother" I nod toward Olivia in her little rocking crib thing. Silvia smiled and said "What does her father look like? She barely looks like you."

"He's.. gorgeous" I chuckle. Before she can ask anything else a knock interupts. It's Alice, Joe, and their daughter Estelle. Even though she was only six she was pretty smart. Alice and Joe had her when they were just 19, yet raised her so well. "Ooo that smells good" Estelle commented. "Mhm, I'm hungry" Alice rubbed her stomach. Soon, Harrison and Victor arrived too. We were talking about what Victor does for work, he works at a dock, and some weird story he had when Liv started to cry. "She's probably hungry, excuse me" I got up and took her back to my room. I was feeding her when there was a slight tap on the door and it opened.

"Hey, Sabe" Harrison peeked in. I took a small blanket and covered my chest. "Yes?" I tilted my head. "I need to talk to you" He said nervously. "I've never told anyone this, not even Alice." He said as he stepped in. "You know you can talk to me, what's wrong?" I patted the bed. "I'm bisexual, and Victor and I have been sleeping together for a few months n-" 

"Victor's gay?" I asked, shocked. "No- well I guess, that's the problem. Wait- you're not shocked about me?" He looked at me. "I don't know, I guess I kinda knew. But I didn't expect Vic" I shake my head. "Well, everytime we have sex he says your name" He spits  out. "OH, that's not weird at all" I carefully take Olivia off my boob and fix my shirt. He chuckles. "I like him, Sabrina. I don't know what to do" He said sadly. We talked for too long and we finally came out. 

"What took so long?" Victor looked between us. "He had to talk to me about something" I said laying Olivia back down. We rejoined the conversation and the rest of the night went smoothly. We ate and talked and I actually felt bad I was leaving such good friends. But I missed my old life. And everything was already ready for tomorrow. 

At the end of the night, before Victor and Harrison left I pulled Victor aside. I told him that Harrison told me what's been happening with them and he defensively said he wasn't gay 'like that'. "First off, being gay isn't something to be ashamed of. Second, maybe stop saying my name during sex, it's weird and bothers Harrison" I said. He seemed shocked for a second but bid me goodbye and left. Last was Silvia. She pouted at me as I opened my arms to her. She squeezed me tightly. "You're my best friens, Sabrina" She said as she let go. "Don't make me feel bad" I chuckled. "Let me put Olivia in her crib then I'll walk you out" I swiftly walked off.

I came back out and she smiled. "I'm gonna miss you" I hugged her one more time. We'd become close the last few weeks. I told her everything I could without giving myself away. "Sabe, can I do something before I leave?" She asked. "What is i-"

Silvia kissed me. I wasn't expecting it but kissed back. I mean, fuck it, right? I was leaving tomorrow anyway. Her hand cupped my face. It was a sweet kiss. I hadn't kissed a girl since a slumber party in 8th grade. I didn't mind it though. Silvia was gorgeous and I knew she was gay but I had never really thought of her in that way. I was now. My hands sat on her waist as we stumbled back from the door. I hadn't even kissed someone in so long.

We hit the couch, not breaking the now slightly heated make out. I now sat stradling her. Her hands ran up and down my thighs and I pulled away. "You must've known I liked you" She laughed. "I had no clue" I say, breathly. "Now you do" She said and pushed us back together. I kissed her hard as her right hand grabbed my ass. I jumped a little and she smiled. I mentally told myself not to go further since I'd be leaving in just a few hours. "You should go" I say and pull away.

 "I'll see you soon" I say and we kiss one last time. "Bye" She smiles and drives off. What. The. Fuck. I checked the time when I get back to my condo. 1AM. I'd be leaving in two hours. All the furniture was being sold with the apartment so I didn't really have to take much. I decided I'd sleep for an hour. 

I woke up about an hour and a half later to Olivia's crying. I changed her and started getting everything together. I was going back. David's chauffeur was soon here and I warily got in. I was too tired for this. I blankly thought about last night. Me? Into girls? That's a twist. But isn't that my whole life? One big ol' loop. 

((BISEXUAL REPERSENTATION 1!!!1!!!1 ANYWAY IF YA GOTTA PROBLEM W IT THATS A YOU THING BUD)))