Celestial Lanterns

Lunar Fury

Kit can feel his heart spewing fire. Blood is pumping violently to his head, he swears he can feel how hot his face is. Rage is rushing through every fiber of his being, he almost popped his vein open on his forehead as he walked closer to the unsuspecting couple just several yards away from where he was seated earlier - hidden from the world.

He doesn't know why he is walking towards them, he would rather just hide and pretend that he didn't see anything, like the countless times he just covered his eyes and ears over Tom's lapses. Yes, that's what they were, just lapses. P'Tom didn't mean them and he will eventually change. The thought that once he confronted him about those lapses Tom will leave him, and that scared the shit out of him.

Fear --- that's what he had felt all these years. Fear that if Kit will not suppress his irritable tendencies, Tom won't be able to tolerate him. Tom is not a very patient man, he knew that as a fact, and pushing him to the brink always ended up badly for him. He remembers vividly when he told Tom not to put ginger in their food because he hates the smell of it, it escalated into a fight and Tom, having lost his innately short temper, slapped him. That night, they sexed it out as Tom apologized. Hence, Kit compromised and learned to eat food with ginger, despite his stomach constantly revolting. Multiple times he had to throw up in the bathroom after the meal, but made sure that he hid himself from Tom, who he always told that he now loves ginger.

Unfortunately, that will not be the last time Tom will physically mistreat him.

Fear of being dumped again --- just like how 'he' dumped him, that's what Kit lived on for almost a decade now. He had always blamed himself. Should he had been more caring, sweeter, more expressive and less difficult to deal with, 'he' may have not got fed up with him and 'he' should still be here, like Pha & Yo and Beam & Forth --- they should still be together.

It's all my fault. He should have not suffocated him. He should not had hurt himself.

He should have known, he had sensed it. Tom is cheating on him. Those wee hour calls Kit caught him having. Those week-long off-site tours that Tom regularly attend, he inquired it to one of Tom's colleagues who happened to be his friend as well, those trips never actually existed, as far as their company is concerned. But he all just shoved them aside, giving Tom the benefit of the doubt, fearing to hear the truth and him being discarded again.

He could just have sucked these all in right now. But boy, you were not in the most favorable time to be caught cheating, P'Tom. It should have not been today. Not today when I'm all fuckin' fed up with all this stupid world's bullshit.

"Tom?" Kit said when he reached them from behind. He even forgot how to call him respectfully.

They stopped on their track and slowly turned around only to be met by a furious face of Kit. Tom's companion looked more like confused about who the hell this man is. Tom's smile immediately vanished upon seeing his face. He just stood there, arm still wrapped around the other man's waist.