A random book what I do when I update.. really?

Youth worker

So I haven't talked about it to anyone yet but, I've just seen the youth worker and shit

A youth worker is like a person who takes of the suicidal people or just people who have low self esteem in which I fit in some of those categories

The one time I slip up and actually show that I'm depressed is when I was in Mathematics class and I was bored, I don't like math, my friends weren't around me, people were talking about me from a nasty perspective, occasionally I would glance at my friends from across the room but they would engage in any conversation whatsoever not even a wave or silent mouthed 'hi' and that day i was already feeling shitty so this wasn't helping at all

So I'm thinking I'm lonely with no friends, physically feeling hurt and rejected

I'm thinking, 'Fuck it', 'Maybe if I kill myself the time would go faster' and I let my thoughts just drift onto my math work

My teacher saw it and was like, "I don't want to see anything like this, if you need to talk to someone, family friends even me" Well something along that line and then he told on me to the youth worker (I wasn't really listening to him, I was getting ready to cry)

And now she (Youth worker) actually wanted to talk to me, I may have shed a tear, not many, I didn't really cry, more like she was getting in my head and I didn't want to talk about my problems to someone I don't know when I can't even talk to someone I know closely, it's messed up

But she wants me to see her again next Friday, what the fuck do I do now?

I honestly should've just said no when she wanted to talk to me again... ugh fuck I'll just tell her next time instead, welllllllllll keep updated for more information on my depressing life, well least I have some things happy like eating when I want to

K bye